She was my grandmother's last child, 3 years younger than me. Our lives have been intertwined differently than most individuals with strands of love and envy. Fate gave us different paths and because of those paths, different choices and different lives.
Most people who met Stella would envy her beauty, grace, financial stability and family. But to know her, you would envy nothing and only her strength you would admire . She was dealt a losing hand from birth. It is times like this that I wish I had the belief of a fundamentalist...I could raise my hand to god and scream, "why does one person have so much heart ache?" I believe that we are all born with potential and depending on the existence of love when we are young, our lives start moving down a path that is filled with right and left choices.
Her father died before she even knew him and her mother passed away about the time she was 5 years old. From that point it was a short period of pass the child until one older sister became the designated mother. She remained there as an acceptable but not embraced child until she was 17 years old and moved out, by this time living in Los Angeles. She recounted, that period of time in her life was her loneliest...living by herself in an apartment. Working full time at a grocery store she started going to community college and met her future husband.
She married when she was 20 on a hot August day, the following month Greg and I were married.
I was older than her, she was my aunt. I was her niece, she was my sister's sister. I was an only child until my sister's adoption, when I was 9 yrs old. She had 5 sisters, including my own and a brother. I had a sister which I shared with her. Love and envy existed for me throughout our teen and young adult life...because of her existence I learned....
envy is a waste of time and only hurts yourself
hard work reaps rewards
one can survive tremendous heart ache
love is not exclusive
insecurity can be overcome
you own your choices
put one foot in front of the other
and most importantly...
even though you do not forget...you can forgive.
Quilt Sample Sale!
4 years ago
1 comment:
Anna, I am so sorry about Stella's death. You can be damn sure that more than 10 people will attend your funeral. I have to say that I still think of my mom's cancer and death often. You can't forget and there is nothing to forgive. The disease is the disease. You love while you can and as deep as you can. I cherish our friendship. Love Irene
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