One...Six...Fourteen

No time for blog this morning but will spill my thoughts this afternoon. It will be thoughts on a philosophical discussion that Connor and Jenn were having last night...which then prompted me to really think about the numbers...hmmm...are you intrigued???

I'm back...so can a single woman effectively parent 14 children...can she love them as individuals or are they always destined to be a collective organism with 28 arms and 28 legs?

So lets look at the facts.

It takes approximately $355,906 dollars to raise one child to 18 yrs of age. The cost includes,
housing
food
transportation
clothing
childcare/education
the miscellaneous category
and a college education at a public institution

these cost only increase as each year passes and inflation kicks in and can really increase depending on the choices you make for your child. Private school, eating fresh foods, sports, vacations.

More importantly is how far can one person spread themselves. If you work, then between the hours of 5PM and 9PM (bedtime) you must meet the needs of your children...so how much time does it take to meet those needs. If you have 4 children then each child gets an hour...but the quality of that hour depends on if you are the 5PM child or the 8PM child. How hard was work that day, how tired are you, do you have to cook dinner, is there homework....

I found in raising 2 children that I had to be efficient, I can't fathom 14. I envisioned the kind of life I wanted for my children...sure I occasionally dreamed of more children and had we "accidentally" had more children I would have figured out how to make it OK...but I could not consciously decide to have more. Because I knew the life I wanted to provide for my children and the kind of parent I wanted to be meant being able to be present...even then, I sometimes fell short. The times in my parenting life I felt the worst about were times I fell short, too tired, too much to do and overwhelmed. I did not want to have children to make my dream come true. I wanted my children to have the kind of life that gave them the ability to make their own dreams come true. For a child to feel important within this world they must first be important to their parents. It is not possible to make 14 children feel important because they need your time to feel that.

So back to the discussion if the woman who had 8 babies should have had in vitro and are their ethical changes that need to occur...

The facts, she could not provide the basic needs for the 6 children she already had and was living with her parents, getting public assistance. At least 2 of the 6 are handicapped which require even more parenting. Should a person on public assistance be allowed to create more life when she cannot take care of the lives she already has in her hands. Should people have children because of what the children give to them...or do you have children because of what you can give to the children and there by the world.

In my mind this is not about love for children, this is more about love of self. In vitro is expensive, if she really wanted children there are many out there who want a mother.

I think this event has prompted a cold hard look at a variety of subjects, public assistance, in vitro fertilization, parenting, love, power...now, with 8 tiny lives there will be no easy answer.