I have played a game of hide and seek for a good part of my life. But what I am seeking is love...but, it is hidden from me. No matter the age, I seem to need the love of my parent, like a heat seeking missles I glide and change directions as it is hidden from me. It is hidden from me by an ever changing wall of expectation, judgement and dissapointment. In a perfect world children would never have to seek love...it would be like the sweet smell of air after a rain, surrounding you and entering your body with each breath. But, this is not a perfect world and we are humans with our own pain, issues and history...if we do not pay attention we can give our pain, issues and history to our children readily, while they have to seek out our love.
I continue to build a life filled with people who make my heart laugh while my soul cries. With time, I can see I am laughing more and crying less. That my strength allows for my weaknesses to have a voice...and that my weakness is as important to who I am, that is not a negative space but a mirror for my stength to see how far I have come and why my strength exists.
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