Today's paper had a full page dedicated to the holiday survival guide. It is ironically funny that a holdiay that is totally about good will towards man...needs to be survived.
I have had many holiday adventures and miss adventures...so here is my holiday survival guide. Based on years of experience.
1. Never sit on Santa's lap if he smells of liquor.
2. Don't forget to put the sugar in your dessert.
3. label each present as you wrap it...or your going to have to unwrap them
to figure out who they are for.
4. remember to put stamps on your Christmas cards before mailing.
5. keep a list of where you have hidden all your gift purchases so you won't
be looking for them until Easter.
6. Remember, every one comes to the family holiday dinner with their own
agenda...so have a drink before mom arrives.
7. You do not want to go to Costco on Christmas eve.
8. Tell your children that Santa won't come unless they are in bed by 6 PM
because you will need a lot of time to put that thing-a-ma-gig together.
9. Do not buy an electric guitar for anyone on your Christmas list
10. The day after Christmas sales are dangerous...which leads me the most
important tip of all...do not...I mean do not...try to walk up the down
escalator.
May you survive the holiday sober, joyful and without any boo boos from trying to run up the down escalator.
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