Sunday, November 8, 2009

Close Encounters Of The Third Kind


It is a new world and we are being taken over in a way we don't even have a clue.  Technology.  I know I have whined about this before but, isn't that what conspiracy theorist do...run around, warn every one, looking intense and concerned.  Although Chicken Little was the first conspiracy theorist and they made fun of him...did he not have a book and movie made showing that what he was saying was true!

Close encounters of the third kind is defined as alien face to face contact.  We had 3 in our house yesterday...TWICE! 

I shared before that Greg and I decided a while ago that our relationship had evolved beyond the need to fret over what gift to give each other at Christmas.  Christmas is a time to enjoy the sights, sounds and relationships in life...not to spend huge amounts of time...first, trying to pick up on all the clues of what someone might want for Christmas, then wading through the hoards of other shoppers who are going in debt...to be paid off the following year until the next holiday is reached.  At least that is what seemed to have happened when we reached our 50's.  So, now we put our heads together in romantic conversation, pool our resources and decided what we want to get ourselves for Christmas.  On Christmas morning the only surprises are what we stuffed into our Christmas stockings and what we are going to have for breakfast.

This year the conversation was resolved in about 2 talks as we read the sale ads in the paper.  A television we can actually see...and one that we can get netflicks to watch the instant play...eat your heart out Connor!!!!!!! 


Sure it is not Christmas yet...but I have never been one who could wait and have been known to lightly peel tape off of packages to see what was in them.

Back to close encounters of the third kind...Best Buy is a intake center for aliens...I know I sound crazy but I am warning you.  In order to check out your compatibility with their invasion they send out a recon team...in the guise of delivering your TV.  Now these guys don't actually teach you how to use it...they just hook it up to the cable and hand you a control and leave...nooooo....afterall they are only recon.  The next day comes the team who starts breaking down your defenses.  Best Buy sent out 3...yes, 3 team members to program and teach us how to use the TV. 

Now these aliens talk fast to undermine your self esteem in processing information.  The leader looked at us and said, "I'll write it down."  The humiliating part is he had a form already printed out that he just filled in the blanks...Press TV selection to turn on the cable...Press DVD to select, Netflick, UTube, Pandora Radio or Blockbuster or just to watch a dvd...we are not the first they have encountered...there are other 50+ people out there trying to fit in with new technology and they have devised tools to make us need them.  We now had no less than 3 remotes to deal with...and each remote has about a hundred buttons. Jesus H Christ (as a girlfriend says) this isn't a space ship...or is it?  It isn't one of those huge theater systems, it's a TV that fits in the same space as the last TV, it just has a little bigger screen and can get Netflicks (eat your heart out Connor!).

As they left we were given instructions on how to load the updates to the BluRay player...so we did.  Then we went our merry way...later that afternoon upon returning home we decided to watch a Netflicks Instant Play (are you crying Connor) We couldn't get the @#$%^ thing to work.  I called the chief alien and told him whaaaaaa it won't work. He tried to talk me through it but realized that I was already losing it.  So they came back...just 2 of them this time...figured out when we did the update we needed to reconfigure our choices.  The 2 of them, the ages of my sons looked at us and said, "don't do the updates, you'll probably never use them anyway."  SLAM

This is my theory...the reason for the mass influx of adult children moving home is not to take care of their parents, eat free food, have a roof over their head they don't pay for but, to control them with their technological ability.  By the time Greg and I reach 80 and need an even bigger TV so we can see the screen we'll be begging our sons to move back home...better than the aliens from Best Buy.

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