The Emotional Eye

The "emotional eye" is what I have termed that part of myself which sees the world through an emotional veil. The most common time for me to wear the veil is in January. January was named after a god who looked forwards towards the future and could see backwards to the past, at the same time. For me, January has never been refreshing...a new beginning. I am not sure why. I have never been one to pile on the New Years Resolutions. I see January as endless days which I long to pass, so Feb., March and April can arrive faster.

I have to be careful in January. Because once I start wearing the "emotional veil" and see the world through my "emotional eye" I start stirring the pot of my brain. I can feel rejected more easily, worry more, stress can reach a higher than normal level and I start retreating into the safe place which I think is somewhere deep in the wrinkles of my brain.

Yesterday morning I saw the veil tossed casually across the back of the couch...I should have just ignored it, but it is familiar...and I totally feel safe, justified and depressed when wearing it...safe, because I have worn it before and it is familiar...justified, I can feel righteously indignant (which in some ways feels powerful) and depressed because I really don't look good in the veil.

It is not even January and I have seen and worn the veil once! So, this I know...I control what the emotional eye sees and I control what accessories I wear and from this day forward I am going to drink from my cup half full latte and chose accessories that compliment my personality and wait to have cake on Greg's birthday...Feb. 2nd. How can one not look forward to cake on Ground Hogs Day.