A Season For Every Man

Every season has its gifts. Winter, bring beautiful snow falls, soup steaming on the stove, good books and snow shoeing.

Spring brings leafed out trees, flowers and the return of the birds.

Summer brings festivals, all manner of outdoor activities, warm weather, sitting on the deck for happy hour.

But, Fall is my favorite. Foremost...there is the color! That vivid red, orange and gold that appears. The occasional warm, warm day followed by a crisp night. My body want to get outside even more this time of year because I know there are winter days coming. I tend to want to get orgainized because I know I am going to be spending more days inside than out. Fall is my favorite time of year...it was the time of year I was born and I am forever linked to this season....it is my most peaceful season.

Thoughts

I have been in transition this entire year. I don't have a clear idea of what has precipitated this or if it is different than any other year...after all life is transitioning from one point to another. But this year feels different...more momentous and I like the tingly sense that life is really unfolding in a interesting way.

It could be that with the marriage of my oldest child my role opened up...I became a mother in law and a grandmother! 2 new roles and ones that I love and feel loved in return. It could be that my youngest is on the precipice of a new adventure.

Whatever the reason I am feeling energized, ready for new ideas, ready to give up old ideas. Ready for new relationships, ready to let go of old ones. I read that your 50's is a time of discovery...it can be about you, for the first time. I am lucky in that I have no regrets...for me every mistake I have made was a clue to the next step.

The best quote I read this week, "All compulsions whether it be food, gambling, cleaning...is about filling the anorexia of the soul." I can't stop thinking about that...there is a nugget of truth in there and I am enjoying the puzzle.

Do Over

Today is the beginning of my "Do Over." Most people pick a Monday for a do over but I decided today was my day. I was reading an article on living longer and the number one thing you can do is lose weight and get healthy. Most Americans do not save money for health emergencies because they thing their health insurance will be there...but health care cost far surpass what insurance can cover and the number one reason people file bankruptcy is medical bills.

So, since I do not want to save money for medical bills that are not covered by my health insurance I am going to do the one thing I can do...lose weight and get healthy.

Now that my quilt room is in order...it is time to move on to the next task...myself. I am good with this. It feels good, I don't feel bad about myself nor am I judging myself. I am approaching this as another task to examine and work on...Do overs are soooo refreshing...I love a good do over.

Failure to Launch

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Interestingly enough, out of the hundreds of seagulls on our beach only one was a "failure to launch." He would non-stop screech at his mom...constantly following her and trying to get food out of her mouth. When I say non-stop...I mean the entire day. Both he and his mom were residence of the hotel grounds where we were staying and had risen to celebrity status...for both his persistence and her patients. For some motherhood can last longer than the breast feeding stage.

The Butterfly Effect

As we sat on the deck watching the ocean, people and seagulls our discussion naturally came around to "The Butterfly Effect."

"The term "butterfly effect" itself is related to the work of Edward Lorenz, and is based in chaos theory and sensitive dependence on initial conditions, already described in the literature in a particular case of the three-body problem by Henri Poincaré in 1890[1]. He even later proposed that such phenomena could be common, say in meteorology. In 1898[2] Jacques Hadamard noted general divergence of trajectories in spaces of negative curvature, and Pierre Duhem discussed the possible general significance of this in 1908[3]. The idea that one butterfly could eventually have a far-reaching ripple effect on subsequent historic events seems first to have appeared in a 1952 short story by Ray Bradbury about time travel (see Literature and print here) although Lorenz made the term popular. In 1961, Lorenz was using a numerical computer model to rerun a weather prediction, when, as a shortcut on a number in the sequence, he entered the decimal .506 instead of entering the full .506127 the computer would hold."

"The result was a completely different weather scenario.[4] Lorenz published his findings in a 1963 paper[5] for the New York Academy of Sciences noting[citation needed] that "One meteorologist remarked that if the theory were correct, one flap of a seagull's wings could change the course of weather forever." Later speeches and papers by Lorenz used the more poetic butterfly. According to Lorenz, upon failing to provide a title for a talk he was to present at the 139th meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in 1972, Philip Merilees concocted Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas? as a title. Although a butterfly flapping its wings has remained constant in the expression of this concept, the location of the butterfly, the consequences, and the location of the consequences have varied widely.[6] "

"The phrase refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that may ultimately alter the path of a tornado or delay, accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in a certain location. The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale alterations of events (compare: domino effect). Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different. While the butterfly does not "cause" the tornado in the sense of providing the energy for the tornado, it does "cause" it in the sense that the flap of its wings is an essential part of the initial conditions resulting in a tornado, and without that flap that particular tornado would not have existed."

So, we pondered...Would a fart by this man set off a tornado in Texas??? (This question was before happy hour.)

Happy 33rd Anniversary!

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Ocean Air

There is something about the sound, smell and look of the ocean that just makes life stresses melt away. Whenever I am at the beach I can almost hear and feel my dad. For me...it matters not if the beach is filled with sunshine or rain...it all reminds me of my childhood.

My fridge arrived yesterday morning. On an earlier blog I talked about what a fridge says about you inside and out. The photos, magnets, artwork that are hanging on the front and also what items you have on the inside.

So, as our fridge was on it's last breath I went out shopping for a new one. I had definite size restrictions because of the cabinetry...which resulted in a style restriction. I had been taking a poll on what style people liked and why. The majority liked french doors, freezer on the bottom. So that is what I went looking for and found out that it just wouldn't fit into our space. Much like our expectations about lots of things in our lives...it just won't fit. Once I accepted the limitations I then went looking for what would fit, compared cost, amenities and style...made a choice and now will live with it.

I found shopping for a fridge such a parody to life.

The fridge arrives...but, first the old had to be removed, the area cleaned and the new one placed. As with new things we choose in life, you have to see...does it fit, do I like it...And so goes with the fridge. It looks pretty, it fit in the space but the process of getting it to running temperature allowed me to let it be for a while. Enzo also had to adjust...at first he was reluctant to accept the new fridge...staying out of the kitchen, checking it out from afar...he gets it, that anything we choose new in our lives has to be examined and adjusted too...and giving up the old takes time.

By 3:00 PM it was ready to be filled. It was a clean slate, ready to have something written upon it...I was amazed that by cleaning out the old and filling in something new, it fit better...I could see better and I had made a good choice.

The big surprise, magnets do not stick to the front. WOW, no photos, no funny saying on magnets, no special cards...no reminders of the old. WOW...a clean slate forever. I feel cleansed. Sometimes giving up the old patterns, choices, behaviors and stuff can allow you to choose something new for yourself...and sometimes the new fits into the old spaces.

Mindfulness

Today is a day for mindfulness. That is to pay attention to what I learned yesterday and to practice it today.

1. I need new work shoes, cause my feet were killing me yesterday

2. Those that are above me really don't want to hear what I have to say...or maybe it is just that they can't do anything about what I am saying...so shut up and just show up, survive the day and go home...cause you have a great life when you get home.

3. Occasionally a work day does require you share a cookie with your best friend.

4. I am getting a new fridge today...I don't think I have ever owned a brand new fridge...there is some about cleaning out the back of the fridge that feels like cleaning out the cobwebs of your brain.

5. Today I get to have breakfast with two friends, one from Texas, both quilters and both have been shopping at Holly Hills in the last week...which means I get to live vicariously through their spending.

6. Enjoy the moments...enjoy the space you inhabit...enjoy the friends, family and creativity you have at your disposal...cause some days, that is how you survive.

Ahhhh, it's Saturday

Yesterday was an extremely difficulty day not only physically must mentally. By the time I got home after 10+ hours of work, my feet hurt, my back hurt, my legs were tired, my knee hurt and my eyes were tired...but it was worth it cause I helped people.....and today is Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What I know is I am going to enjoy the entire day, the entire weekend before I "have" to go back on Monday.

In fact I am going to change my verbage and say, "What I know is I am going to enjoy this entire day, the entire weekend before I am "lucky" enough to go back on Monday"...cause working hard makes you soooo appreciate a good day off.

Life Is A Series Of Hardships

We seem to believe that happiness is a 24/7 experience. But in fact life, is a series of hardships and depending on how you handle these hardships you will experience more moments of happiness. Digging through the dirt and looking for that perfect prize is worth it.

It is a waste of time looking other people's dirt pile and wishing it was yours...you really never know what their dirt holds. As I watch a family member go some terrible hardships I also see the love and support. Our hardships lose their sharp edges when we hunker down and circle the wagons and help each other. I keep trying to amend the soil of my own dirt so I can grow a flower garden.

Message From An 85 yr. old Woman

If I had my life to live over again,
I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax. I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances.

I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones…

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.

It's A Wild Life!

Greg loves the desert and will spend 6 hours a day enjoying the fresh air, hiking where rarely a 2 footed beast will go and taking in vistas that are breath taking. It is bow hunting season and the animals know it. He can be out there and not see one critter. There are signs where limbs have been bent and there are tracks but nary a critter is about.

But, sit on our deck and life is on the move. Around our deck we have seen raccoon, squirrels, chipmunks of several varieties, eagles, hawks and birds/bats galore. We have seen skunks....this week a very healthy coyote was trotting down the middle of the 5th fairway right in front of our deck...trotted a stones throw around a golf car that had pulled up. Enzo, he could have cared less...didn't even notice.

There are things going on off our deck that he could give a hoot about (no pun intended) and he never barks at anything...but this week when 2 bucks and does climbed across our hill side he stopped and intently watched their progress. Enzo runs like a deer, hopping and trotting so maybe he recognized a kinder spirit. What really gets his attention is the quail. As soon as they start talking he stops and walks to the railing, poking his nose through. A covey of about 20 came across our hill as we sat on the deck yesterday while we enjoyed one of those perfect Sept. evenings when suddenly there was a "big swoosh." Landing right in front of us on the branch of the closest pine tree to the deck in clear view was a Great Horned Owl. The quail went crazy talking in that way a group of teenage girls talk...constant. The covey was separated into 2 groups on either side of the yard and they were in constant communication. The owl stayed there for about 10 minutes, turning his head 180 to take a look at us and then watching the quail. WOW, we never take our life for granted and as the owl swooshed away we looked at each other and said, "what a great life...we are blessed."

Happy Birthday Peter

Happy Birthday...31 years...wow! I remember when I found out I was going to have a baby. Surprised and excited! My pregnancy was a breeze in terms of morning sickness, mild and only occasionally in the first 3 months. What was unusual about it was...I ate watermelon at least 3 times a day. Greg would have to go out and find me some MELON!!!! We were living in a one bedroom apartment and decided we needed to move to create family space for this new addition. We bought our first place, a 2 bedroom townhouse and I set out to decorate the baby's room. It was bright and cheery, life was changing faster than we could have imagined.

My pregnancy was so mild that I worked up until 2 days before I went into labor. I started labor in the afternoon and wondered if this was it??? Piece of cake! Over the next few hours I called the doctor a couple of times, stayed up most of the night watching old black and white movies. Early evening the next day we went to the hospital and although I can say my labor and delivery ended up not being the most pleasant experience I have had...it was a first step towards my going back to school and becoming a labor nurse.

Labor and Delivery was hard on my sweet baby...he had a pointed head...and I mean SNL Cone Heads kind of cone head. But you were soooo knowing...I knew my baby had an old soul and I would teach him as much as I would learn from him.

Happy Birthday Baby!

What Kind Of Day Is Today...

I noticed something about myself this morning while getting ready for work. It took me about a minute or more to decide what earring I was going to wear. Was today a big earring day...or a small earring day...and the choice was directly related to how I was feeling. My earring choice is a symbol of the mood I am in...I didn't know this. But now that I think about it...I have a large collection of earring only a few of which I myself have purchased, the rest have been gifts. The giver has always told me...when I saw these earring I though of you. Maybe that is why my earring have an emotional component.

Kind of like the mood rings of the 60's and 70's I guess my earring are my mood symbol. I have flashy earring, big hoops, small hoops and studs. I have earring that have people hanging from umbrellas. I have earring that were my mother in laws and so they remind me of her. I have dangle ones, jeweled ones...I have ones that I purchased in Hungary.

Today is a small hoop day...I am a little tired, slightly down in the dumps and can't wait for tomorrow when I am off and can play in my sewing room...so I am wearing small sliver hoops...just enough to know they are there, not too flashy...the perfect earrings for my mood.

In America, Even Idiots Get A Voice

GAINESVILLE, Fla. -- The leader of a small Florida church that espouses anti-Islam philosophy said he was still praying about whether go through with his plan to burn copies of the Quran on Sept. 11, which the White House, religious leaders and others are pressuring him to call off.

The Rev. Terry Jones said he has received more than 100 death threats and has started wearing a .40-caliber pistol strapped to his hip but still did not back off his plan Tuesday to burn the book Muslims consider the word of God and insist be treated with the utmost respect. The 58-year-old minister said the death threats started not long after he proclaimed in July that he would stage "International Burn-a-Quran Day."

And So religion continues to be the source of hate. I totally get that a person can find real personal peace within the walls of a church, but to support the dogma of any particular religion against other religions...or to believe that your particular religion is the chosen religion...well, give me a break. You would think in the 21st century that we are intelligent enough to understand that we are all human, that God does not exist for only the chosen...

My prayer today...God, help me to listen with an open mind, to except all men for their grace and short comings...and please God, help the man in Florida see the light...and the other 50 people of his church...for they live in darkness and darkness only begets darkness.

Love ~ Hate

Today I have a love - hate feeling about BJ...formally of BJ's Quilt Basket. I learned to quilt at BJ's Quilt Basket located in Scandia Plaza. She was a tough task master but, I learned well and I fell in love with the world of quilting!

After a week of organizing my fabric, weeding through the...WHY DID I BUY THIS? I realized that BJ was my "Fabric Pusher" and I was her willing "Fabric Druggie." She needed cash and I needed fabric. I can still hear her voice in my head. If you're not sure, buy a fat quarter. If you like it, buy a yard. If you love it, buy 3 yards! The issue is...I loved a lot of it!

And now the biggest question I have is...WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH 4 YARDS OF FORTUNE COOKIES PRINTED ON RED???? I guess...as with all addicts we can't always remember where, when and how we ended up with our drug of choice.

How To Make Your First $1 Million

This is a photo of 100 million dollars. Wow. I was reading an article on how several billionaires lead frugal lives. We all hear about the 66,000 sq. ft Bill Gates house...but, there are in fact several billionaires who live in the first home they ever bought, who drive domestic cars until they fall apart, who walk, bike or use public transportation...who don't own designer clothes but buy off the rack...who do not have planes, yachts or a collection of cars and as Warren Buffets says, "all those toys are just a pain in the butt." When we look at our fellow citizens and marvel at all they have, their fancy cars, tropic vacations, designer purses...you have to know that most of that is deprecating possessions and a lot of it is not yet paid for...

I used to laugh at some the things my mother did as I was growing up but many of them I have adopted in my own life. She is an active, comfortable senior citizen who doesn't have to worry about how she will make the next months bills...so why wouldn't I pay attention to the choices she is making...and as I near retirement age I wish I hadn't had all those lattes...because now I can see maybe I could have retired a year earlier????

As a parent I know the examples we set for our children can serve them or create problems for them...but what I love is that I am open enough to learn from my children...and I am finding that I do not have to buy a $3-5 dollar coffee...I can just have plain coffee or make my own latte at home...

Here is an interesting slide show...I am finally getting it...

How To Make Your First $1 Million - Investopedia Slideshows

I'm Cell-less

I am almost reaching 24 hours cell-less. It feels weird. How easy it is to become dependent on such a small item. The weird thing is how I am dependent. Once I started carrying a cell phone I stopped wearing a watch. The cell became my time keeper...now I don't know what time of day it is!

I am used to being accessible...and now...I am incognito. There is a real advantage to being anonymous...but I miss my phone. I joke that one of my friends can't live without her phone...now the joke is on me. But...a part of me wants to embrace this new life. This fall is all about embracing the space, creating new boundaries and seeing how it feels to be my own best friend. Maybe I don't need a cell phone.

Waaaahhhhh, where is my phone...people need me!!!!

May We Have The Envelope Please

I was reading an article on the need for frugality...duh...but, how this need is leading us back to cash. over the last couple of decades we have moved to the use of plastic...not only credit cards but debit cards. It is convenient and after all it does come out of our account immediately so it is kinda like cash. I actually feel myself get a little stressed when I am behind a person who is either writing a check, filling out their check register or counting out pennies. Why don't they just come to the dark side and use a debit card...it makes the line go faster!

Except when the money comes off a debit card...it is just easier to spend. You don't see immediately that the amount is decreasing. Cash takes discipline. It takes planning and it worked for Grannie. Although I am a debit card user I automatically only use cash when I go on a quilt retreat...why...to reign in any impulsive spending.

I remember my son telling me that his girlfriend at the time used a "cash in envelope" system. I am sooooo glad she became my daughter in law! The author of this article was introduced to the cash envelope system by her boyfriend and she said...using a cash envelope system takes discipline. It seems now there are a few more people who are willing to become more disciplined and challenge themselves to save, pay off their debt and deny themselves when the envelope is empty. Wow...what would the world be like if we learned self discipline?

Here is the link if you think you want control of your life!

http://www.daveramsey.com/article/dave-ramseys-envelope-system/lifeandmoney_budgeting/

September 1st????

September 1st! How did that happen? I love it...this is my favorite time of year...cool mornings, warm afternoons and still a chance of a hot day. I am not a resolution on January 1st kind of gal...I'm a September person...how do I want my life to look and what do I have to do to make it happen? hummmm, already making some changes and feeling good. When ever I make a choice, I stop and listen to my heart. If it feels lighter I know I made the right choice for me.

So here's to September and the choices I make!