Friday, May 28, 2010

Should Haves...


I have decided today to explore the concept of "should have."  Yesterday when I was running around getting some errands done I heard the radio guest say that a sentence which begins with "I should have..." is a waste of emotional energy.  He went on to say as soon as you hear, "should have" come out of your mouths, stop yourself.

Can one live life with a lot of should haves...is it conceivable to be human an not have a lot of should haves?

Should haves are regrets, guilt and judgement.  I do know that in raising children I have bounced back and forth with the should haves.  But, I also can remember telling my kids that failure is not a failure but a piece of information that is important is moving forward.  I think "should haves" means you are looking back way too much.

You cannot have joy without understanding saddness. 

You cannot revel in success without knowing failure.

I guess in someways the radio talk host was correct...should haves...they are the haves that are missing and thus are not worth dwelling on but turning into haves.

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