She's 50!

I can't believe it but my first girlfriend is 50! Yes, Barbie turned 50! Did I say 50!?! Although we don't hang out any more, I got sick of her constant "me" conversations...all about her. I do remember that she didn't look anything like me. She had a beautiful red ponytail, legs that were long and slender, a waist that was so small, breasts that were perky and absolutely no body hair...(not even pubic hair). I spent a lot of time taking care of her. She never lost the flip in her pony tail because I refused to muss it up. She had a great house and her bedroom was to die for. OH, and the car, convertible of course.

She was always so perfect. I always say midlife crisis when you young and wild or you can wait till your actually in your midlife. So this year she is prancing out in full mid life crisis mode. I can't wait to see her. She comes with tattoos...yes, you heard me 36 tattoos and even a tattoo gun that you can tattoo yourself, just like her.

So how did she end up being a tattooed at 50 year old? I heard that after we parted ways she dumped her boyfriend Ken and started running around with a younger crowd...someone named Ashley, Stacey or some Bratz crowd. She stopped dressing her age, her house went into foreclosure and the hood of her car cracked (I swear I had nothing to do with that). She'll have to be careful because with her portfolio tanked she'll probably have to go back to work and so those tattoos had better be pretty or in place you can cover.