Free Speech

Free Speech seems to be a right that every American holds dear...that is as long as no one knows where it is coming from. We want the right to speak freely...but anonymously. I don't consider free speech, free if I am afraid to take responsibility for what I am saying.

When I read the Internet news there is the ability to leave comments after each article. The comments left for the most part make you wonder if people have any screening ability at all. Their brains, mouths and fingers seem to have a life of their own.

Even more amazing is the "rants and raves" section on Craig's list. Talk about slamming, trash talk and shear ugliness. After 2 times I have given up reading the comments. It is hard to even get to the really thoughtful comments for all the slamming. I wonder if we were required to attached our real name to any comment made on the net if we would be so forthright?

It is a struggle to say what you are thinking while facing the actual person you are having issue with. It is also difficult to think about signing your name to a comment that floats out on the world wide web. I can tell you that making it a requirement for your personal self ID to step up to the plate and let people see who you are and what you believe, will only make you a better person. When what you say to someone face to face is the same as what you would say behind their back, your world merges and then you are real. You become more thoughtful, you discover kinder way to express anger, frustration and you realize that some of the stuff you rant and rave about really is not that important.

The Internet has not done us any service when we can anonymously trash another person or business. We have become a society of covert assassins without any repercussion. And more importantly we are losing our communication skills, which when used face to face are usually kinder.

Commuter Relationships

The situation of a relationship where the parties are living in different areas is a historical one. Sailors have gone off to sail the high seas, leaving their families behind. Explorers have gone exploring. Soldiers have gone off to war. There are many professions that requires separation from loved ones.

For those of us that have the luxury of going to bed and waking up each morning next to our loved one we cannot fathom how it is done any other way. But in this economy it is not just occurring within certain job sectors, it is occurring to our neighbors and relatives. The idea that on cannot find work where you are living and raising a family seems so foreign and yet it is happening. You no longer can just sell your house and move, your company cannot afford to move you and life's options are entirely different than they were a year ago.

It will be a challenge for the American family to figure out how to be a family when we live in different places. With each passing month we are faced with decision that we never thought would be forced upon us. I truly believe there is a huge lesson for us all, on what we need to do and what we truly need.

Upside Down...Inside Out

On the way to Portland we passed a car packed to the gills with travel items, suitcases, coolers...stuff required to have a good time on vacation. Unfortunately it was sitting on it roof with everyone upside down. The ambulance had just arrived and the snow plow was sitting behind it . The snowplow driver was waving the traffic by but for a moment the line of cars we were in slowed as each of the occupants reflected on, "that coulda been me."

Sometimes we're in such a rush that we miss the signs around that say, slow down, take the scenery in, smell the fresh snow. Instead we end upside down...inside out. Then as we rounded the next corner a semi flew past us followed by 2 other cars without a sense what waited around the next bend.

Oh My Aching Feet

I tell you, 10 hours working in the OR holding area getting people ready for surgery...whether it be scheduled or trauma, really makes you feel your age. My puppies were screaming by the time I got home. All I ate for dinner was crackers and cheese. My co worker and I were both sapped by the end of the shift and although I clocked out at 6:27 PM...3 minutes before the end of my shift I felt like those 3 minutes were a gift! Then walking out the doors and still seeing daylight....a miracle!!!!!

No matter how bad life gets, how sad I feel, the people I meet going into surgery give me a bigger gift than I give them. They make me kinder, less judgemental and grateful for the life I have chosen. For it is at this point the patients feel the most anxious, hungry, thirsty,tired, painful and angry. You really see the human race in it's highest or lowest potential. Each day I take away many profound and hysterical lessons.

Yesterdays....why does a guy need to wear a thick gold bracelet that takes 3 people and a improvised tool to get it off of him. Luckily for us it wasn't on the side he had accidentally whacked off.

Rom Com

When I first saw this term in a newspaper article this week I thought it was some kind of spy talk....but instead I found out that the era of the Rom Com (romantic comedy) has hindered more relationships than it provided good entertainment.

It seems that the recent generations of women who have grown up watching the Rom Com have expectations that don't exist. I have to admit that given the time and money a great chick flick is right up my alley. On the other hand I am going into the theater with 55+years of experience, a few relationships and a 31+ year marriage. With this background I can laugh hard enough to pee my pants.

What I can tell you is that....

He will not be able to read your mind
It is better to help him pick out the gifts he wants to give you
He won't always think your jokes are funny
Sometimes neither of you will be in the mood
You will not be dreamy eyed...except for the first few months
and he will not cry from the shear idea of loving you

But if you decide on the right person to spend your life with, you will...

know he is thinking of you several times a day
he loves to watch you pick out your own present
he'll laugh at you telling your funny joke and that will be funny on top of funny
Sometimes when neither of you are in the mood, snuggling will feel fabulous
he might not be dreamy eyed but he will light up at the sight of a good dinner
and he may not cry at the shear idea of loving you but he will be more excited about you than his car, toys or dog.

Then There Was Light...

For today it matters not that Barbie has a house in Malibu (she is probably married to someone who is over 90 and on oxygen), nor am I affected by the fact that there are wackos killing people out there, that Oregon is at the top of the unemployment heap, foreclosures left and right and that there is corn syrup is everything....because...today....

I get an extra hour of daylight!!!!!!!!! Nothin' is ruining today, not snow, sleet or hail because from this day forward I am accumulating an extra few minutes of day light. Maybe it was the state of the world because it certainly wasn't the amount of snow we got but this winter seemed to drag on. So today in celebration of an extra hour and even though I was freezing my behind off I went out and trimmed my decorative grasses and took survey of what I intend to do in my yard. I can feel that change is comin'

She's 50!

I can't believe it but my first girlfriend is 50! Yes, Barbie turned 50! Did I say 50!?! Although we don't hang out any more, I got sick of her constant "me" conversations...all about her. I do remember that she didn't look anything like me. She had a beautiful red ponytail, legs that were long and slender, a waist that was so small, breasts that were perky and absolutely no body hair...(not even pubic hair). I spent a lot of time taking care of her. She never lost the flip in her pony tail because I refused to muss it up. She had a great house and her bedroom was to die for. OH, and the car, convertible of course.

She was always so perfect. I always say midlife crisis when you young and wild or you can wait till your actually in your midlife. So this year she is prancing out in full mid life crisis mode. I can't wait to see her. She comes with tattoos...yes, you heard me 36 tattoos and even a tattoo gun that you can tattoo yourself, just like her.

So how did she end up being a tattooed at 50 year old? I heard that after we parted ways she dumped her boyfriend Ken and started running around with a younger crowd...someone named Ashley, Stacey or some Bratz crowd. She stopped dressing her age, her house went into foreclosure and the hood of her car cracked (I swear I had nothing to do with that). She'll have to be careful because with her portfolio tanked she'll probably have to go back to work and so those tattoos had better be pretty or in place you can cover.

Blazing Saddles

Well, I have had a nice 5 day cry fest and am ready to get back in the saddle. Although death is something I do not fear and recognize it as the circle of life, I still want to take time to recognize my feelings, reflect on the life of the person passing and understand the reasons for their life and death....now that last part is the one that always drags me along. For one...you never really know the whys. But what I do know is I am a fact gatherer...i don't jump to conclusions but really think and process before I come uncorked.

In the last week I was feeling down with all that I was hearing about the life and death of Stella. So I waited until I could get the facts and what I found is that everyone has their different judgement and opinion. You have to wade through it and find as close to the truth as you can.

Stella, had a difficult life but made the very best of it. She passed on with feelings of love and forgiveness. Those are the facts and that is all I needed to know, that this beautiful person left this world surrounded by love. The gathering in her memory drew 500 people! I am not sure 10 people would show up at my funeral. She had an impact on the world and the world came to say goodbye.

Heartbreak Hotel

It would be great if there was a place we could leave our broken hearts. You wouldn't have to lug it around, examining it and trying to figure out how to put the pieces back together. You could just pull in, register and say, "room 202" please...no mini bar necessary, no luggage...you just leave your broken heart.

What I know though...is a broken heart can be put back together and may be more beautiful than before. Any thing that is perfect has no interest surrounding it...Simply put...when I think of all the perfect looking models, I cannot remember their names...but give me Iman who is unusual, imperfect and stunning and I remember her name.

I think keeping your broken heart, taking care of it, and understanding what the message it gives you in it's fragile state...will give you strength in the long run. Having a perfect heart will only give you a one dimensional life.

When "He" plus "She" Equals "We"

Interesting article. As quoted by a professor of psychiatry and human behaviorist, "There are a lot fewer arguments, but, by the same token, studies show there tends to be much less passion, and a less passionate sex life, in these couples,"

Seem that if you think and speak as a single unit, life may only appear on the surface to be smooth. I have long ago given up the view that those four legged, four armed, 2=1 brained couples are living the ideal relationship. Although "we" have been married a long time, when speaking of the other half of we...I refer to him as "Greg"...after all he has got a name, a personal point of view and a personality that is his own.

I think the "we" must be a younger generations need to not be alone??? or if you are stuck at the hip and can't pursue your own dreams it must be love??? There never existed a "Brangelina" as I was growing up. But as I grew into a young adult it was the time of freedom for women, the struggle to have your own identity and then I had the added benefit of a mother who knew no limitations.

If I reflect on my conversations about what "we" are doing...I rarely use the word we...I use "Greg and I" single organisms who join together to do stuff with our individual likes and dislikes. Which then allows us to do what we like, without the other. Which then brings more interesting conversations to the table. Which then makes the other one look more interesting. Which then will then open the options of a passionate life.