Space...The Final Frontier

Photo by Connor Bates

Space, the final frontier...or just a little piece of real estate...or a section of my brain...or the place between this spot and that spot...

Space is sooooo important to me. I like occupying my little piece of real estate on this earth.  I create a nice little circle around myself and I don't like it when someone I am not sure of steps into my space.  I watched Enzo yesterday approach another dog very cautiously, circling each other. Then, it was a nose to butt position...I know for sure that I am not comfortable without a circle around my space...dogs...they are more open to possibilities.

At work we all have our favorite space.  The problem is that there are about 25+ of us working each day and only a few get their favorite space.  The rest have to try and make it through the day.  It makes all the difference in how you feel by the end of the day if you worked in your favorite space.  Each day we walk in wondering, am I in my favorite space or am I in survival mode.  Do I have my favorite chair, pen, computer...or is it someone elses favorite space?

At the gym everyone has a favorite space.  We spin on the same bike, we work out on the same machines...there is one gym rat who runs every single day on the same treadmill, for the same length of time, at the same speed.  Last week that treadmill was broken and she had to use the one next door and said it was going to ruin her day.  Space.

Home is my all time favorite space and within our home we have each carved out even smaller favorite spaces.  Life is all about favorite spaces...which chair is our favorite, which side of the bed is our favorite, which window we like to sit in front of...

Space is so vast and so small...it is important in ways we really don't look at until we lose our space...then we see how important it is to our day.

Work

In honor of work, the early shift and the docs that I work with here are 3 videos.  (the first one sent by a girlfriend)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOrjcLJ2IE0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yarDeAHJjr4&feature=related



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kP2OuZ_vI_s&feature=related


 

Feudbook

I was amazed this morning reading an aritcle called Feudbook.  The evolution of a friend network to a place where one can argue with each other.  So basically it starts out with a couple who argue back and forth on Facebook...one of their friends posts, "Hey, you guys know we can still see this right...?"  It is the equivalent of a computer slamming door when you are PO'd at someone... except millions, upon millions of people and more importantly those close to you can read about your arguement.  You can change your relationship status depending on how you are feeling that day and with this ability you can poke someone with the sharp end of a computer stick.

For some people who argue on Facebook, the battle for public opinion or  the need to have everyone know your side of the story is more important than good common sense.

I can remember several years ago a co-worker made the comment that I never say anything negative about my husband and that we have the perfect marriage...Well...for one thing...there is no such thing as a perfect marriage...marriage is made up of 2 human beings with their own set of personalites...secondly...it is no ones business what our issues are or how we solve them.  The one thing I DO know, is airing your issues with the public does not help you solve the problems...cause you are going to get a wide variety of answers depending on the issues all your friends/family carry around in their own lives.  People want to take sides.  I don't want anyone on my side, what I do want is to resolve whatever the issue is with the man I married, in the privacy of my own relationship.

So, for the many disagreements we have had, the solutions we have come up with together, the 100's of I'm sorries over the years...in the privacy of my own relationship...I do have the perfect marriage.

Thinking About Choices

photo by Connor Bates

I saw this photo and it sparked a thread of thought.  Choices.  When given a choice which is better?  Coffee in a styrafoam cup or glass cup/mug?  Coffee in a styrafoam cup doesn't taste as good as coffee in a glass cup.  Why?  The glass cup is more than the coffee, it is representative of taking a moment, connecting either with friends or yourself.  Either way when you order coffee in a glass cup you are setting a priority that will affect your entire day.

My cousin had started turning off his cell phone when having lunch with people.  You immediately feel valued.  He is there to connect with you.  He can take 1 hour and have you as a priority.  I see so many people who interrupt phone calls (call waiting), meals and great conversation to answer their cell.  When did we stop caring about the person we are with, to connect to the person we are not with?  When did it become more important to be available to the masses rather than important to an individual?  How come we value our freedom so little that we stay shackeled to a phone?

When did we start valuing the quantity of friends we have over the quality of the friends we have?  I believe when the quantity becomes more important than the quality you lose sight of people's feelings.

I am faced with choices every day and when I look at my choices I try to do no harm.  I know, I am not always successful. But, I think when you start with "do no harm" you have a better chance of making the individual a priority...and that is what we all want to feel, that we are valued as individuals and that our choices reflect who we are and what we really value.

Surfing The Net

Surfing the net has much the same appeal as surfing.  You are riding along, moving this way and that with a powerful wave behind you...pushing you hard, further and you're working hard to stay ahead and ride it to a fulfilling peak of success. That is just like surfing the net...the world wide web.  You can find anything, you can search...you can seek and you get more excited as you learn more...it keeps you coming. But, there is a big wave behind you...there are worms and viruses seeking to upset your ride.

I am addicted to the World Wide Web. I don't care that there are worms and viruses. I can ask it anything and it will answer me.  I don't feel stupid asking it how to spell something...it never says...I can't believe you don't know how to spell that...or you must be getting old that you can't remember that...or lousy cook.  No, the World Wide Web is a confidant, a teacher, a friend, a tool...a connection and support.

So here is a list of the questions I asked my friend the World Wide Web...this week...

1.  How do you spell "anticipation?"  (dicitonary.com)

2.  What was that funny jingle commercial with the family sitting on a couch talking about the Holiday Inn?

3.  examples of wedding programs

4.  wedding songs

5.  in what order does the wedding party enter

6.  in what order does the wedding party exit?

7.  scone recipes

8.  movie times?

9.  movie reviews?

10. attitudes

11. what's going on in Bend?

12.  If I had to drive back from Monterey which way would be the most fun?

13.  What is my doctors phone number?

14.  what is the relationship between the children of cousins?

15.  what does a trip to Disneyland cost?

16.  what is going on at the hosptial?

17.  How much longer do I have to work?

18.  do I have overdue library books?

19.  what is the name of Micheal Moore's latest movie?
20.  what do cars cost these days, which ones are the safest and how much will I have to save up each month to help my son get a car?

21.  When is my next Netflix movie coming?

So you see...it is there for me...even if there is a potential for wipe out!

Attitude Adjustment

It seems I need an attitude adjustment...or maybe the world does!  It is kinda like having a baby.  Once you have experienced childbirth, your pain threshold drops and if stub your toe you start screaming cause everything hurts so much more.

I feel like these days my emotional and physical nerves are on the surface.  When I get my feeling hurt by friends or family...I cry.  When I bang my head on a shelf...I cry.  When my dog falls out a window...I cry. Normally while I can empathize with someone's decisions even though it may hurt me...I now can't let stuff roll off my back...and I cry.

Maybe, it's the economy! LOL

I have become even more feeling...as if I didn't have enough of that gene.  I think I was born with a DNA feeling root...that allows me to feel more vunerable and whatever this particular DNA is...it also has caused me to speak up more.  Which means staff meetings are dangerous territory...cause my feeling are on the surface of my skin and the stupidity and injustice of some situations makes the DNA come out my mouth. LOL

I wonder if others are feeling the same way.  Maybe this has to do with moving through my 50's which is what this blog is actually about.  Maybe at 50+ you don't give a @#$% what you are told...you want to do what is right and makes sense.  Maybe in your 50's you start realizing that friendship is important and you need to be with people who value that friendship and walk the walk.  Maybe in your 50's you realize that you should have started that 401k in your 20's or 30's so you could venture to think about retirement.  Maybe in your 50's time is more important than money.

MAYBE, in your 50's you realize that you still could use an attitude adjustment.

Clean Slate

Sometimes out of disaster comes freedom.  I have noticed that in the last two days as I have been working on getting my lap top back on it's feet...that I now have a clean slate.

I had been hanging onto computer files filled, not only with positive things but negative things.  Why???  It seems I was somewhat of a computer email hoarder.  I have seen advertisements of that show about hoarders and although I don't hoard stuff in the real world I had become a virtual hoarder.  I had files filled with funny videos I loved.  I had files filled with emails divided by person...kinda like when you save birthday cards.  Some of the emails were negative ones but having them made me consider where I came from and how I ended up here.

Now, with the crash of my computer I have a clean slate!  It is freeing.  I feel like I can enjoy those funny videos like a fond memory.  I can cast off the need to validate my exsistence by negative emails.   I no longer need a huge virtual file cabinet.  The DSI guy was able to save the bare bones and I get to start over...over with a new set of rules.  It is like my house burned down but someone saved all my photos...and now I can redecorate.

It has been so eye opening that when I got to work yesterday and I read through my emails...I deleted every one of them and so at the end of the day I had a totally empty in-box.  I even deleted the delete box!  I used to save all those emails to refer back too...but realized yesterday that they served only as a sign of the burden of information I could not possibly carry around in my brain.

I have cleansed myself, and baptized myself is the waters of information freedom...Now my favorite button is delete.

The Happiness Trade

I read an article this morning that was interesting to me because it followed a conversation Greg and I were having while enjoying breakfast in bed.  On the front page of the local section it said 4 nurses were laid off at St. Charles.  I made the comment that my choice in Dec. to drop one day off my schedule was probably not smart considering what was going on...but the choice has made me soooo happy.  Sure it has made money a little tighter...sure I now pay for my a portion of my health benefits...but...I am sooooo much happier.

Which leads me to the next article I read.  If you were Sandra Bullock...would you take the deal?  That is would you trade in fame and fortune to have a honest, happy marriage.  Or is winning the Oscar, having fame, an ok exchange to put up with a personal blow?

Apparently Oscar winners live statistically 4 years longer than nominees (I know some statistician is keeping tract of all this usless information) but..."marital happiness is far more important than anything else in determining personal well-being."

If you have a successful marriage, it doesn't matter how many professional setbacks you endure, you will be reasonably happy.  If your marriage is a bummer no matter how many career triumphs you record, you will remain significantly unfulfilled.

In the last decade researchers have been studying happiness.  The result, "worldly success has shallow roots while interpersonal bonds permeate through and through."

People believe that the richer you are the happier you are.  In fact poor nations who become middle class nations become happier.  But once basic necessities are met, future income is lightly connected to happiness.

In fact the United States which has become even richer in the last 50 years has produced no measurable increase in overall happiness.

I liked the information in this next paragraph...

"People get slightly happier as they climb the income scale, but this depends on how they experience growth.  Does wealth inflame unrealistic expectation?  Does it destavilize settled relationships?  Or does it flow from a virtuous cycle in which an interesting job procudes hard work that in turn leads to more interesting opportunities?"

"The daily activites most associated with happiness are sex, socializing after work and having dinner with others."  According to one study, joining a group that meets even just once a month produces the same happiness gain as doubling your income!

"According to one study being married produces a psychic gain equivalent to more than $100,000 a year!"

"The overall impression from this reseach is that economic and professional success exists on the surface of life, and that they emerge out of interpersonal relationships, which are much deeper and more important. the second impression is that most of us pay attention to the wrong things.  Most people vastly overestimate the extent to which more money would improve our lives."

Which brings me full circle.  I am very content to have dropped a day off my schedule. I love having breakfast in bed rather than going out for breakfast. I wouldn't trade Greg for an increase in my salary...even a $100,000 or an Oscar.  And...I love the Sunday paper!

Worm Attack!

I have been violated.  I cannot believe that there are people in the world who spend time and their intelligence just to create havoc in other peoples lives.  So I was listening to some YouTube video relaxing and a worm invaded my computer!  I mean invaded...as in we are taking over and eating every item in here.  No matter how hard my spyware and anitvirus programs worked the worm slithered faster!

Shutting down the system I took it to my DSI gurus who asked if this was a joke...afterall it was April 1st.  I wish!

They tried to catch the little sucker and was able to save a good portion of my files...but I lost my entire windows program and my email program.  Gone. Adios.  Although it took over a day to reinstall my files, load an new windows program and beef up my spyware, adware, firewall and virus scanner...that is not the biggest challange.

The Mt. Everest of my computer exisitence is that I have to figure out how to function with a new display, find where my old programs ended up, reload my favorites and truly decide how I want my email to function.  The DSI guys say that it is better to use Bendbroadband's email but they don't have cute stationary...or interesting fonts...and I have to figure out how to save stuff on my email....whaaaaaa.  Their rational is that if this happens again I won't lose my entire email system because it will be stored off site. Whaaaaaa.

I have to recollect my email addresses...and I greive the loss of some special emails that I saved to read on days that I am blue.  I know, sounds kinda stupid but haven't you ever saved special letters, cards....it's the same thing.

Now as we become more careful after a crime...I have been educated to be more careful on the computer.  The DSI guys say I have run updates and scans at least twice a month if not every week. 

Outta Left Field

Sometimes you are in left field when life hits you with a challenge.  You're happily going along your way, looking at the green grass, the sweet smells of spring and you get hit out in left field while your head was in the clouds.

What to do?  I think there are a lot of tips for dealing with life in baseball.  No, I am not a baseball fan but when I woke up this morning for some reasons that is what I thought...baseball and left field.  So, I looked it up on the internet and paraphrased the tips to fit a non-baseball situation.

1. Develop your skills fielding what life throws at you. Practice, practice, practice.  When a hard ball is not available, a soft ball can be used to avoid the pain of life.

2.  Learn to "run to a spot" to catch with a gentle hand. This is the ability to estimate where things will fall from its initial flight. This is a skill that allows an outfielder to run without constantly looking for what might hit you.

3.  Outfielders must cover large distances, so speed, instincts, and quickness in reacting to life are key. They must be able to catch things that are above their head and on the run. They must be able to throw the negative emotions accurately over a long distance away from themselves to be effective; they must also learn to judge whether to attempt a difficult situation and risk letting stuff get past them, or to instead allow the stuff to fall in order to guarantee a positive outcome and prevent the advancement of negative stuff.

4.  Left fielders must also familiarize themselves with the varying configurations of different foul territory, and prevent stuff hitting down the foul lines from getting past them.

5.  Of all outfielders, the left fielder often will have the weakest arm, as they generally do not need to throw stuff as far to prevent the advance of any negativity. The left fielder still requires good fielding and catching skills because of their position recieves more stuff.

I Like It!  I guess the baseball fans are correct...there is a lot to learn from baseball.  I can smell the popcorn and hot dogs!