I'm Getting Closer...I Can Hear It

I have been pondering the idea of "taking care of myself" for the last week.  It is a common topic of women's books and magazines.  Every talk show features ways to take care of yourself. 

With each discussion I have had, I get a clear picture of what that means for me and possibly what that can mean for you.

We are drowning in informations on ways to take care of ourselves.  Massages, pedicures, meditation, yoga, excercise, eating well and taking time out.  But as a dear friend said to me, "I feel better at the moment, but once that moment is passed I feel the same, like it was just a bandaid."

I think that all the ways we are told to take care of ourselves...is external. There are those who use shopping, drinking, drugs and gambling to try to feel something...the extreme of taking care of themselves.  We go on vacation...but then we have to come home...why is none of this working?

I believe that the one way to really take care of yourself is to hear...yourself.  When I look back at 2009 it was a difficult year for me...because I was not listening to my own voice.  I heard the world's voice of what I should be doing, I heard my mother's judgement, I heard the voice of my employer...but none of them were mine.  None told me my truth.  We tend to have a list of needs/voices in life and, ours are at the bottom.  Most days we never get to them.  We take care of parents, children, friends, employers...we don't want to be dissapointing to anyone, we want to protect everyone else's feelings but our own.  I know one person who takes care of everyone else...always...and when her soul is empty...she blows.  Like a pressure cooker.  But it doesn't make her feel better, she feel worse...then she has to explain and apologize for the outburst...all because she never heard her own voice...that little whisper that is looking out for her best interest.

So as I clarify it in my own brain...the voice is the one that when asked to do something, be something or want something...gives you the answer right away...listen to that voice.  That voice is the one expressing your real needs. It is not a selfish voice, but the one that teaches you if you listen, that saying no is not mean.  That is the voice that is the "taking care of you" voice.  But, it is the voice that we usually ignore by listening to the conscious brain that has a file of guilt, have toos, shoulds and you don't want to disappoint or hurt anyone.

I know that voice.  I know I am listening to that voice when I have heard it, responded too it and live my life by it...because I feel peaceful and proud.  I know when I am in trouble when I start trying to make myself feel better by using extermal means and still feel lousy.

PS.  The sculpture above was done by artist Miguel Reynel