A Bowlie Of Cake

It looks gross...and more than gross it makes me want to lie on the floor and kick my feet.  In fact I threw a major tantrum after I baked this cake.  I am not sure what it is about baking that doesn't love me...but it doesn't.

I remember the first chocolate cake I baked for my dad's birthday.  When I inverted the layers of the beautiful 9 inch cake onto the plate they split into fours.  I spent the next hour trying to glue the 4 quarters together with frosting, crying the entire time...traumatized by a chocolate cake.

Now years later I am no better at baking. I follow the directions, I have tried different coating for the pan but none give me the beautiful cake I want.  I let it cool, I dip the pan in water...I have tried every tip in the book. I have on the other hand become quite proficent with the "bowl cake."

To make a good bowl cake you must do the following:

 follow the direction on the recipe of any cake.

your name must be Anna or Annie.

Once the cake is completely baked remove it from the oven.

Let cool the instructed amount of time.

invert on to a cake plate.

when it doesn't come out use colorful language.

then bang the cake upside down, carefully not breaking the plate

when it doesn't come out, start screaming and banging the pan.

When it still doesn't come out, using a jumping motion

and slam the cake pan down on the plate as you land back on the floor.

this move, will release 1/2 of the cake

Lying on the floor crying and kicking your feet

will cause Greg to scoop the other half out of the pan with a spoon

dump the whole @#$%& mess into a pretty bowl.

Do not serve this at family breakfast.

You can eat it later when it is dark and no one can see you...with a spoon