Finding My Direction

I am taking time. When you are young...as in young adulthood, the world gives you an agenda in which you mix your own desires and dreams. You have concrete goals, you work hard, you create a family and life moves fast.

What I have noticed in my 50's is a confusion. It seems suddenly you are not hard pressed to drive a certain road that you have always taken. You can make choices you have never considered before.

As I watch my friends and co-workers navigate through their 50's it seems questioning is a normal state. Some people live with regret and can't move forward, spinning their 50's with...I wish I had done that...or my career choices would have been different if I had only known...I wish I had made better financial decision...I wish I had been smarter in my choices of who to love. Some, take the same route they always have, no change in scenery, no change in how they react to situations, no change, period.

For me, my 50's have been a time to question, "what is it I really want to do? How do I want to spend my time? What kind of 60 year old do I want to be?" I wouldn't call it a midlife crisis because that seems to denote a need to leave the old life behind, dramatically changing who you relate to and who you are...not me. I love my life. I regret nothing. People don't realize that if you are happy today it is because of all the choices you made before, good and not so good. What I have found is that I am on a path of finding my direction. Some people, know their direction...they were born with an innate sense of direction...they will lead us with their confidence. Others, like myself are samplers of direction..."lets try this way"...nope I don't want to go this way...so "lets try that way."

Taking some time off gives you a perspective of where you have been. You need this in order to decide where you want to be. As I tip over in a couple of months to the downhill slide of my 50's and can see my 60's on the horizon I am inspired to dream of what I want to look like, what I want to feel like and who will inspire me.