Dissapointment

I am fascinated by the fact that at 55 yrs old (still 2+ months to 56) I can still feel pain when my mother is disappointed in me. You would think that with the life I have led that the statement, "I am disappointed in you" would just bounce off my heart. There would be no sting, but I would glance down at where it lay and ponder...what was that?...and go on my merry way.

Unfortunately the way I am hardwired...when it hits my heart I have to grab it and wrench it out with 2 fists. I always have a wound left over that heals to a nice scar.

I think as a parent by the time your children reach adulthood you do not have the right to give them the disappointed line. You have raised to the best of your ability your children, and if they are disappointing individuals or disappoint you...well suck it up. They are adults and have to make their own mistakes and disappointments. They don't need a reminder of how they have failed you. The burden is too much.

I am really gonna be PO'd if at 70 yrs old I am still disappointing my mom.

One a brighter note...a doe and 3 fawns bedded down in our yard (I didn't hear her once say she was disappointed that they weren't making good choices. lol)