The "But" Exterminator

A co-worker has been sending out via supportive emails, help with the major transitions going on at work. I on the other hand read it and said...this is going to help with life as a whole. Yesterdays especially hit home for me and I would like to reprint part of it in today's blog...because I don't know about you but I need to hear this over and over again! I believe that living without the "but" may also help with the "butt."

How often have you heard someone (or yourself) say something like:
“I’d like to exercise, BUT I don’t have time”.
“I’d like to have a creative outlet, BUT when can I do that”?
“I’d like to eat healthier, BUT who has time to shop and make healthy meals?”
“I’d like to _________________ (fill in the blank).

BUT …. This is the ‘but’ factor we’re dealing with, and what’s needed is a ‘but’ exterminator! So how do we do that?

1. First, and most effective, as talked about in Tip # 2, is to ask yourself: is this activity/commitment/choice life giving or life draining? Or is this fulfilling someone else’s agenda? What is the cost to saying ‘Yes”, when I really want to say “No”? Why am I saying “yes” to this? – it’s often out of habit. It’s sometimes to avoid the discomfort of saying ‘No’. Some people cannot say ‘No’ because their self-esteem comes from the feeling of being needed. As long as someone is asking them to share their time, skills, etc., they feel good about themselves. However, time and personal energy are a high price to pay for self-esteem.

2. Outsource it, delegate it. (Oh …. BUT it will be so much easier if I just do it myself!)
3. Lower your expectations from perfectionism. Think excellence vs. perfection. Painful, I know.

Myths about ‘Balance’:
It means having everything in equal proportion
It’s a state we can achieve if we just work harder and smarter
It’s doing it all – accomplishing everything
It’s all or nothing, you’re either balanced or you’re not
It’s all about time management
It’s not really attainable, life is just too busy with too many demands

Truths about ‘Balance’:
It is not a static state, it requires constant movement and adjusting
Sometimes it requires saying ‘No’ and doing less
Small steps can make a big difference
It’s about having more satisfaction, energy, and fulfillment in your life rather than feeling victimized by circumstances
It requires continuous care and attention, like maintaining your car

Take Action:
Ø Identify 3 energy drains, and what you can do differently with them
Ø Look at your calendar for the next month and cancel any commitment that gives you a sense of dread, resentment, or regret
Ø Schedule time for your own self-care. Block out your calendar and honor it as you would an appointment with a very important person (because you are)
Ø Ask for help. You don’t have to shoulder burdens all by yourself
Ø Stop cluttering your mind with negative television, newspapers, radio shows, or conversations and replace them with something uplifting and positive. What you put into your mind has a powerful impact on your well-being and energy
Ø Do something fun – today! Laugh – today!