Seasons of Life

This week for a couple of days we had 2 uncles and aunts visiting. It was a surprise visit, and what a lovely surprise. The uncles are the brothers of my mother in law who passed away several years ago. When a death occurs a vital link can be broken and since most of her family lives back east our relationship is connected by the thin thread of Christmas cards.

As with every family, there is pain, history, memories, joys, sadness and forgiveness. As time marches on and the seasons come and go...that which we thought was important has changed. These 2 brothers miss their long dead sister and Greg is their only connection to her...and so they reach out to see and touch not only him but her memory. Conversation was lively, reliving past experiences...reconnecting. You realize that each season has no meaning unless connected to the next...and it is as you have long heard...the circle of life that gives life meaning.

And so, as we hugged and said our goodbyes there were promises made to head out east...to make that thread into a rope braided with memories, love, joy, sadness...for it is with these that the rope is strong.

I'm In a Weekend State of Mind!

I have discovered that a weekend state of mind does not have to be on Friday. Here it is on Wednesday and I am already on vacation in my brain. Even though there is laundry to finish, packing to be done...I know tomorrow I am heading off with girlfriends on a vacation of the soul. I think stepping away from the daily grind and doing what you love best...(quilting) gives your soul a rest.

At work today I told one friend that all I want to do is go home and go to sleep! My grandson told me that makes the fun come faster! lol He is a smart boy. So I took his advice, one load of laundry in and I took a nap! I am refreshed, ready to sit out on the deck with a cold drink (it is after all 96 degrees) and talk with Greg about how great this vacation already is unfolding!

Prepaying

I was reading an article about "Prepaying." There are several ways companies make money...one is by getting customers to prepay. Cell phone service is one of the most common. Extended warranties on service contracts is another. The extended warranty service is a huge money make for retailers.

The problem with prepaying is you can get cheated. I remember once repaying a years gym membership because it was cheaper that month to month...only to show up one morning to a gym that had closed down. Guess what...I didn't get a refund of the unused balance. Now if I am going to prepay something I do a little more research, look at what the economy is doing, check out how healthy and the longevity of the business...before I prepay.

We used to get lots of advertisement through the mail to prepay funeral expenses...I did not even go there. Even people in the funeral industry agree that it is not a good idea.

The most prolific prepayment business out there is time share vacation spots. It amazes me that people still fall for that! You prepay for an "interest" in a vacation spot. Which right off the bat means you are going to the same spot every single vacation...sure they tell you that you can trade but having seen friends try to trade is amazing. They show you the beautiful room overlooking the ocean...but hey...when you arrive you get the room overlooking the parking lot. You have to make monthly payments for a vacation you haven't even gone on, plus a yearly fee. A few years ago I was sailing the Hawaiian islands and one of the other sailors and his son visited a former college friend who sold timeshares in Hawaii. He said that by his calculations if you went every year to the time share you bought for 20 years it cost you $300/night!!!!!!!!!! I have never staying in a hotel for $300/night and I do not want to go to the same place all the time. On our employee website there are always ads for "time share weeks" for sale, cause the person is paying the fees but can't afford to go. Either life gets in the way or they can't afford the airfare! Yep...just cause you payed $20,000 for a life time vacation...you still gotta pay airfare, food and entertainment...that time share is just for the bed.

When I was on Maui there were several store fronts called,"Time Share Resale" on the way to the regular timeshare...what about this picture are people not getting? And the hook about coming for a free weeks vacation to just listen to the timeshare presentation ...runnnnnn Forrest runnnnnn.

A Big Hole

http://www.youtube.com/user/fiercefreeleancer

Weekend On

On a rotating basis we will end up working a weekend. To the Monday through Friday people working a weekend sounds like a bust. What I can tell you is, I like my weekend on.

In the past I have actually worked every weekend...that was hard, especially when the rest of your family has a Monday through Friday schedule. At the time I did "the every weekend" we were trying to save money and my kids were too old for babysitters and too young to be left to their own devices for 8-10 hours a day during the summer months...and well, I just couldn't stand the worry about my children...their safety...and more importantly I wanted to help create a nice summer for all of us. So, I was the Monday through Friday parent and Greg was the weekend parent since I worked 12 hour shifts on Sat. and Sun. It did mean we rarely had time off together...but, overall there were more positives than negatives and I have no regrets about our decision.

The flavor of that time did imprint on my brain how wonderful it is to work weekends. The tempo of the work place is quieter. There are no chiefs asking you what you are doing and moving you around for greater productivity. When you are a hard worker by nature...just because the boss isn't around doesn't mean you suddenly become a slacker. You get to quietly work hard. All that occurs on the job is the same...it is the air that feels different on the weekend. Ahhhhh....I am heading off to work and it is Sunday.

Selecting A Family CFO

I was reading this article in the newspaper titled, "Selecting a family CFO can limit money strife." Money is one of the top reasons for divorce. Families need to evaluate how they handle money to head off the headaches. Have one person in the family designated as the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) helps. This person would be responsible for managing the budget and investments.

Running a family's financial affairs is like running a business. You need a missions statement, track monthly cash flow, review it to avoid overspending , take advantage of legal tax breaks and work with professional people hired to assist the family, like accountants, lawyers and financial planners.

The missions statement is the outline of beliefs and goals the family is working towards. It can be as simple as paying all bills on time. Or it can included a plan for future retirement or vacations. The CFO of the family must be given the power of making decisions about what can and cannot be afforded and to find the best deal on purchases. The second hardest part is deciding how to invest the family's money. This article suggests that the husband and wife alternate the role every six month so there is no abuse of power and it makes both parties aware of the financial health or illness of the family finances.

This has never been the way we have done it...every six month switch off...would drive me nuts! I was raised to take care of the money and I like taking care of the money...and this works because Greg is ok with me being the CFO. It makes sense since he works full time, the least fun thing for him to do would be to come home and wade through the mail, pay bills and make decisions. He wants to come home and relax on the deck. So, I have been CFO since the first year we were married.

With that said, I have been a good CFO and bad CFO...now I am a great CFO. It was a learning process. How to handle the power??? Is to never use the power. Whenever we are going to spend anything over $100 we check with each other. We shop for big ticket items, check the sales, then go home and discuss what will be the financial and emotional cost to buying the items. Will it mean we can't go out for a while, will it mean no vacation this year??? And bottom line after much learning we do not carry a credit card balance. It we can only afford to buy something on a credit card...then we can't afford to buy it. We save for stuff...and life is less stressful.

We both work hard and so there is the understanding that you should enjoy some of the fruits of your labor...but not where it puts you in debt. So as CFO, I understand that I am the chief of our finances and Greg is the chief of the tribe...nice balance.

The Rebound Guy

I feel sorry for this guy. He is the rebound guy. Just like in any relationship that has gone south...the next one is on thin ice. When ever they talk about divorce or break up the very next relationship has a greater chance of failure. So much to figure out...why didn't it work...maybe I need my space...maybe it was my fault...maybe I deserve better...

Everyone is all worked up about his health care plan, the economy, joblessness...but really, we started heading south with Reagan. Then we compounded it with "the bushes". This guy...he is the rebound guy. The one stuck with trying to make it up to us. To figure out what went wrong with our last relationship. To try and bale water out of the sinking ship with a thimble.

I have been hearing my entire life that social security is going to run out before I retire...so how can it be this guys fault??? Why are we angry at him???

Being the rebound guy makes you age faster and you don't see hide nor hair of the bushes...they are hiding cause they know that someone might ask them why they are hiding...

Triskaidekaphobia

Such and innocent number. So many historical reason that now are obscure as to why...people fear the number 13. It could be as simple as a 13 year old child is known to drive a parent nuts. Triskaidekaphobia is the fear of the number 13, and especially Friday the 13th. On the other hand those born on the 13th day of a month find good luck on Friday the 13th.

As for me...I only have a few phobias...touching dirty door knobs, porta potties, bugs that bite you, moths, guacamole, public toilets, buffets, people who walk their cats on a leash, grocery carts, warm milk, fast food joints, golfers who wear cowboy boots, Motel 6's, white bread, milk chocolate, instant coffee, roller coasters, having to BBQ (that is, having to actually do the BBQing...not eating the BBQ)...well maybe these aren't all phobias but I don't like them anyway.

Creative Biological Clock

I believe that time becomes very important in a different sort of way. When you tip over into your 50's and especially heading towards your 60's. You still feel pretty darn good physically and mentally but you can feel the slow down and there seems to be more obituaries in the paper of people in your age group.

The Creative Biological Clock starts ticking. What do you want to do with the time left to you. What have you always wished for, wanted to accomplish and or see. How do you want to break out of your daily routine. I think that is why "retirement" is so enticing. We see it as a forced break in the routine. But, then it arrives and we are not prepared for the vastness of time. I want to keep pushing my envelope now. I want to become a better person, I want to learn new things, I want to be a force in my creative biological clock instead of a bystander...watching my time tick down.

I saw a commercial for a new TV show and knew immediately it was going to become one of my weekly lineups. "The Big C" with Laura Linney. I have always liked her as a actress and this series is about a woman with stage 4 melanoma. It is about time. It is a comedy. What one woman does with the time she has left. What is important. Laura Linney was raised on the east coast, avoiding the Hollywood scene. I love what she said about L.A. "I think there are two viruses in L.A. There's the "what I have isn't enough" virus which is deadly. And the "what do they think of me" virus which will drive you insane. Everyone is going to be affected by this at one point...no one is immune. What you choose to do with your time and who you spend it with will have a great impact on how at 50, your creative biological clock ticks.

Hello muddah, hello faddah...

A woman at the dog park told me I was a great dog handler.

Camp nana and papa is in full swing...I have hit the highs and the lows. I have been bitten by mosquito's and chipmunks. I have actually had a bath. We have dried fruit, made granola, made our bed every day, packed our own lunches. We have awakened every morning at 0630 to take the dog to the dog park and I have done some training (of the dog). We have picked up dog poop and fed him his meals. We have watched black and white cowboy shows and The Planet Earth. I have hoola hooped my brains out. I have emptied the dishwasher every evening...please can I come home.

I learned how to make my own pillow case.

(this narrative by nana)

Gas Prices

Ok, I know we are all living it...and you can't go one block in Central Oregon without seeing a gas station...and interesting enough in one block the gas price can have a 10cent difference.

We have been told allllllll about the price of crude oil and the effects of war, hurricane and what someone on the other side of the world had for dinner can have on our gas price.

Sometimes I think the pretty cars must go to one gas station and pay a higher price and the clunkers go to another and pay less.

Either way...if I could get away with it and there was an exceptional transit system I would not own a car. Central Oregon is getting there but it is no Portland.

Grandparents Need To Work Out!

After my first 24 hours with my grandson I realized grandparents really need to be in shape! My sister told me just last week that she was exhausted taking care of her grandson even though she was in shape.

I have to preface the above statement with an addendum. It has been great! I am challenged to not only keep up physically but, mentally. I know life needs to change around here because we need more stamina. Even Enzo is pooped...and he is loving every minute.

My grandson fell asleep at 8:00 PM. Sleeping till I woke him at 0630...cause we had to go to the dog park. Enzo needed his exercise and I mean exercise. He was in 7th heaven having a 8 years old boy running around with him! Now he is sound asleep at my feet and it is only 4:00 PM.

It is a learning experience for all of us. He made his lunch in anticipation of camp. Made his bed this morning and then spent the day at camp. All in the same moment he loved camp and then did not love camp. Life is like that at 8 yrs. old...you can want something and not want it, all in the same breath.

I had no idea how quiet Greg and I had settled into a routine until you have someone talking to you and asking you questions 24/7. I had no clue how quiet life was around here. But with an 8 year old brain in full wrinkle mode there is no quiet allowed. You have got to love the amount of learning that is going on in that brain...processing, processing, processing...

Parenting is definitely for the young but grand parenting is for the young at heart!

Courage

Courage come is such surprising ways. Sometimes it is quiet and no one know of your courage. The person who goes to work every day even when they hate their job...still gets up and heads out. It is a silent courage.

When parents makes a choice in the best interest of their child and not themselves, it is courage.

When you decide that you need to go to school and learn a profession, it is courage and faith.

Of course, then there is holding a 7 foot long snake (I have the most courageous daughter in law).

Thank goodness we all do not have to be courageous in the same way!

Piloerection

Yesterday I spent all day in a class titled, "Managing Cardiac Issues in Acute and Critical Care Patients." A good majority of it was out of my scope of practice and thus the words flew over my head...as in, what was that swooshing sounds passing me by!

The saving grace, the speakers were fabulous. Taking a difficult subject and making it entertaining. Class started at 0800 and ended at 1700...a full day of talking about the heart and what happens when it gets broken. I do believe I learned something...and the best word added to my vocabulary was "Piloerection." I love saying it because it sounds funny and it is a funny way to say what it is...I have piloerections...hey, you have piloerections...I can't see if my dog has piloerections...

go ahead try and ignore this blog...I bet you will be driven to look it up in the dictionary...Piloerection...

The Foodies of Napa

My sister donated a Korean dinner for eight to the AAUW auction. The winning bid was by a dining group of 4 couples for $800! She organized her kitchen crew, Pat the Sommelier and master of the BBQ. Melinda the assistant server and bottle washer, myself...sous chef. And last but not least Michiko, queen of presentation.


Hor'Dourves and champagne were served on the back patio. The weather was wonderful and this group of couples had been dining together for several years.

It was fun to be "kitchen help" with a towel draped over my left forearm I periodically would walk out and replenish the appetizer plates while my brother in law kept the champagne and wine flowing.

Michiko said, "you not only eat with your mouth but with your eyes." Which means, presentation of the table and food is what guests first take in when being seated. My sister's son and DIL designed printed the menus and they were beautiful.

As I look at the photos of the table, people and the presentation I acknowledge that I came home filled with great cooking and presentation tips, a warm heart and a greater understanding of team work. It took a band of 5 to pull this wonderful dining experience off and now the word it out...we may have more meals to prepare!

Should VS. Could

This past Friday I met with Jacqueline who helps people meditate and find the questions they want to ask and then answer them. I went in with a fairly open mind...more worried that I would come out depressed because what I learned ab out myself would create more questions.

She was very calming. We shared a little background information about both of us. Then I climbed on a massage table and she place pillows for comfort and a blanket for warmth. For the next 20+? minutes she spoke in a quiet voice taking me deeper into the meditative state. A couple of times I found myself snoring...but then she would ask me a question and I would indicate I had heard her by moving my hand or head...they felt so heavy and the movement was very slight. It seemed that I for the first time had reached a truly meditative state and maybe the reason I could achieve this every before is that I needed a guide. This alone pleased me. My busy mind could become quiet.

After she lead me back to the light we sat and talked about the path my mind had lead me on. Our discussion was very enlightening and...I felt I was close. So close to an answer. I was very rested but energized...energized to find an answer.

Today I being the next stage of my quest and I begin with giving up the shoulds. Whenever you say "I should...and fill in the blank" the should becomes a judgement, a shame of not doing something, not being something. The word should needs to be stricken from the vocabulary. I now substitute the word could...which makes the choice mine. I could do this...or I could do that. It places the power of my life in my own hands.

Listen to every time you say should and replace it with could...this one little change can have a huge impact.