Thursday, December 30, 2010

0330

This one of my favorite photos that my son took...because I have many moods and I feel a change coming on...yes, it is that time of year and lots of monkey jumpin' in the brain. Maybe that is why I am up at 0330. The only thing about being up a 0330 is that I know my girlfriend Robin is already out in the moon light...no, not howling at it...but walking her dog before we have to show up at work.
This next year will bring major changes in both my personal life and work life. Do I know what they are? No. But I can feel them and for me...my third eye is always my guide except when the monkeys poke it!
So I make my lunch, drink a cup of coffee to face a day that I know is going to be slammin'...end of the year surgeries and people breaking stuff either on the mountain or just walking around town on the ice. But, what I do know...is I can do anything for a day!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Putting It In Perspective

When people complain about the snow and the berm that is created by the plow in Central Oregon...you gotta just put it in perspective! Although there have been years where I remember piles of snow, I have never seen snow like this! My mom was reminiscing in an email this week about our lives in New York City. Just she and I, while my dad was overseas on an active duty assignment. She said there was a 24 hour period where 27 inches of snow fell and we couldn't leave the apartment for 3 days. Lonely times for a foreign woman with a baby.
Putting life in perspective helps you keep the "hebegebbies", the oh my god, the sky in fallin in, did you hear that...away.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas!

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Friday, December 24, 2010

Christmas Eve


It is hard to believe it is Christmas Eve! It crept up on me in a quiet way. I think it is because there is no family in town this holiday and life is quiet. We have never had a holiday where it was just the 2 of us but, I do know that this year does not feel good or bad...it is just this year. I am taking it all in and doing only what I like...except for today.

Love is a powerful force and because of it...on Christmas Eve...I am going to be sitting in a theater...watching...with a bag of popcorn...TRUE GRIT...by the Cohen Brothers! Ahhh, I am such a sucka for love!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Howling at the Moon


I sooooo wanted to stay up and watch the total eclipse of the moon...but my body clock was getting sleepy at 8:00 pm and I didn't take a nap in preparation...so, off to bed I went. Then a little after midnight I woke up to go to the bathroom and remembered the moon! I quietly went from window to window upstairs looking for the eclipse. The sky was dark so I new the moon was shrouded in his cloak but the snow provided a beautiful landscape.

The issue was I had no idea where the moon was...I couldn't see the eclipse from any of the windows! So I went back to bed. Early the next morning Greg asked how his Galileo was and I told him of my frustration at not being able to find the moon. He asked what time was it when I was dashing around? Midnight. He pointed straight up. The moon was directly overhead and wouldn't be viewable from our windows.

The most wonderful thing is being in love with someone who can tell you where your moon is....

Friday, December 17, 2010

OHHHH The Future


I don't know...I am so enjoying the present that why get worked up about the future??? The mantra of questions I hear all around me are...What If? Do You Think That Could Happen? It Feels Scary, what do you think is going to happen? What will we do???

My answer...I don't know, let me whip out my crystal ball! What I can do is live fully in the present. Make choices in my life that are fulfilling, kind, stimulating, honest...and you know what...if I do that, pretty much the future most likely will be good. What can I say, I'm a cup half full kind of gal who occasionally likes to stick her head in a nice warm beach full of sand.

John Kennedy may be right and I have often said it myself, "Change is the only thing you can count on." But it is coming whether I worry about it or not and if I live the present fully...the future is mine.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

One Of The Seven Deadly Sins


by Marta Dahlig

Envy, one of the seven deadly sins. I avoid envy because she is a trickster. When you let Envy creep into your heart you begin to evaluate your own life through filtered glasses. That old saying that the grass looks greener on the other side...well, green with envy can lead you down a path of decisions that are not in your best interest.

Poor Bernie Madoff, nobody would sympathize with him now...but many envied him 5 years ago. On top of the world (with other people's money) he looked like the symbol of financially and familial success and was envied by many. Now he sits in prison, his son has committed suicide and his grandchildren are possbily working on having their last names changed so as to not be associated with him.

Envy has a way of putting blinders on your sight...you only see the surface which looks sooooo good but envy does not allow you to see below that surface.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Making New Traditions

One of the most important things that I have always wanted to pass to my children was the importance of making "traditions." It is such little things that make such a huge difference as you get older.
Christmas was always a big deal around our house...although the holiday cheer was generated by my dad and myself as his assistant. Decorating the tree was a time to be together and have snack dinner.
As life and work does need to go on...Greg and I will be bringing in the holiday cheer sans family...so we decided that we needed to create some new traditions that will be ours, together. Yesterday as we decorated the house, I reminisced about my dad, we had snack dinner and we made Spanish coffees! Fire and all!!! It was so much fun that we are now going to make Spanish coffees our decorating tradition!
I went to the OR's party for the first time and danced my tootsies off. I am not sure it will be a tradition...but it was fun. I may take Enzo to get a picture with Santa!
I guess what I realize is that traditions can evolve and new one created and still be a tradition...maybe the tradition is to be open to new traditions!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

One Pet Per House!

I have to admit he was kinda cute sitting between 2 cans of beans looking at me...but, at first he made me pee my pants!!!! I bent over to take a eye level look at him and he just stared back...then I shook my red apron hanging on the door and he retreated to the back of the pantry.

I looked at Enzo (useless pet) who looked at me with an expression of "what the hey is this woman doing looking in the pantry when she should obviously go change her pants!" I was freaked!!!!!!!! I have never seen a mouse nor any clues that a mouse has been inside my house since we moved here over 3 years ago. So I ran out to the garage and got a package of mouse traps that we had from one of our old houses and spread peanut butter on it...left a note for Greg and headed to work. By the time he came down from his shower...Enzo was saying a passage from the mouse bible.
Of course being one of those people who is a slight germaphobe, the next day I spent all afternoon bringing everything out of my pantry, washing the tops of my can goods, throwing away anything that looked like my dear departed friend might have looked at, sniffed, or nibbled!
Then I set 2 more traps and am happy to say he was a single guy with no date who just came in from the cold to party.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Pause



I was almost asleep last night when the word "Pause" entered my brain. It bounced around in there and then as I started looking at it and thinking about it I came to believe that it may be the most important word in our dictionary today! Just think if that guy who pressed the "fire missile" button in North Korea had just paused for a second and really thought about the repercussions.


How many times have we regretted something we had said because our mouth was in gear before our brain realized "what the hey" was going on...Pause. Such a simple word...but so powerful.


My "Pause" button is nice shiny red thing that sits in the middle of my brain. I use it often, to prevent heartache, to prevent over scheduling myself...to really think about how I want my life to play out day to day. Every so often I take a "leap of mouth" and then I realize that I need to shine my pause button...think before speaking...chose who to share my thoughts with and slow down. Some days at work I have to employ the little monkey in my brain and have him jump up and down on the button all day long...whewwww...on those days we have both worked hard...to PAUSE.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Life was much easier before the email warnings I recieved this past year


This so cracked me up when I recieved it in an email that I had to post it to my blog...most of these have been sent by my own mother who in her love is convinced that the world is out to get me!


I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed ... hmmmm

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one’s nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

I MUST ALSO SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish.

I can’t have a drink in any bar because I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can’t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can’t use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Fanta since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put ‘Under God’ on their cans.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes twenty-seven different types of cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face.. Disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the movies because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda agents in disguise. And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan .

I no longer buy cookies from Neiman-Marcus since I now have their recipe.

THANKS TO YOU I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can’t ever pick up a $5 bill someone dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over..

I no longer drive my car because buying gas from some companies supports Al Qaeda, and buying gas from all the others supports South American dictators.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician . . ..

Oh, by the way.....

A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.


PS: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Reflections


It was a wonderful Thanksgiving...I have so much to be thankful for...wonderful son's, a daughter in law who has a beautiful heart, a grandson who is fun to be with, a loyal dog, a safe trip over and back, my first BBQ's turkey, Becky's stuffing, Hostesses with the Mostest, Shean-Jones girls, seeing Mo again, making new friends, Kathy's mom's apple pie, seeing Kathy and Mike having a good time...oh yeah, life is sweet. The only thing that could have made it perfect is if I actually got a photo of Sarah and myself???? Now that I am a chef extroidinaire I am going to have to work on my photography skills!
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Thursday, November 25, 2010

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Burrrr...baby it's cold outside

Ok, I know the snow looks beautiful...but when you have to shovel a long driveway full of it and it is only 12 degrees outside and the dog won't even come out to keep you company...well...baby it's cold outside.
When the weather flips over to "winter" your body goes into hibernation mode. I don't want to go to work, I don't want to go to the store, I don't want to go to the library, I don't want to go to the coffee shop! I want it all to come to ME!
But, it sure is pretty to look at and with a full moon...you swear your yard looks like diamonds are lying around.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Culinary Master



Ok, so my cooking range just got too scary to use and the self cleaning feature on the oven didn't work. Besides, most of what I prepared just didn't turn out fantastic.

We decided to buy a new stove/oven. We went into the process trying to find the one that seemed the simplest to clean, which was one of those ones with the flat glass top.

What we came out with was, this one. It was love at first sight for both of us. All it took was for me to ask what this one feature on the top of the stove was used for...The sales persons said, "Oh, that is to hold a WOK!" We looked at each other and said, "we want this one!"

I can feel it in my bones...Bobby Flay, move over...Rachel Ray, Shut your mouth...Giada, go find a new sweater...cause there is a new cook in town. I am so excited that I got up at 0530 this morning just to organize all the recipes papers I have collected this year out of the newpaper.


Tonight we are going to WOK the veggies!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Going Going Gone

It is hard to believe but my son's motorcycle was stolen. That is...a chained up parked in front of a car in his carport...stolen. I have been reading in the news about the rash of property crimes...most likely due to the hard times being felt but so many...but come on...

Several years ago we had a burglar enter our house while we were gone and he took all my jewelery, a coin collection that my father in law had passed down and Greg's watches and pawnable possessions. Having had someone in my home pawing through my clothing drawers...well it so creeped me out that I never rested comfortably in my bedroom after that event because we had a low lying window and secluded deck with door off our bedroom. Lovely home...but so glad when we decided to move.
There is a violation of one's life when something is stolen...it is not as if you are rolling in the dough...we work hard for what we have and to think that someone thinks it is OK to take something is...well...just morally corrupt.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Tossing and Turning


Last night I tossed and turned from 0100 to about 0230. It seemed my brain was trying to solve the problems of the world. And, as if the problems of the world weren't enough by 0200 I started worrying about how I was going to perform my duties when I had to get up at 0400 to get ready for work???

I had read that counting backwards from 800 by 4's will drop you off to sleep. Well, I tried that several time reaching 770's before giving up. I struggled with the idea of calling in sick...but I never do this unless I am reallllly sick. And I can't even remember when I called in sick...I think it was last year.

Finally what made me fall asleep was a mantra...you are a good person and worth loving...ahhhh. There is nothing like a loving thought wrapped around your soul to make you relax.

And so sleep came and the alarm went off at 0400. I am ready for the day but boy do I feel sorry for the person I must take care of at around 2:00 PM...I should be toast by then.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Love From A Distance

I realized last night in my dreams why I was having to hold a note of happiness in my hand as a reminder of how happy I am. I couldn't figure it out. By last night I gave up and just relaxed about it...which allowed me to put down the note.
It was my dream...that gave me the clue. There are those people in our lives that we want to love from a distance. I truly love my "long distance love" but if they get too close I get burned. It is like you have to wear a hazmat suit so you can see their love but not feel the pain that can come with it...
And so there is this constant cycle of love, fear, guilt. It is kind of funny because in my dream the character changed their mind and decided to keep some distance and I was so happy and filled with love for them...at the very least I now know what was bugging me yesterday, it was the safety zone of my brain trying to let me know...there is hard love coming.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Happiness

I had one of those days where I cherished happiness...cause today it was no where to be found. It might be that I am facing two 10 hour days at work...of what I am trying to believe with be wonderful. Or maybe it is empathizing with a girlfriend who is having a very hard time and knowing there is not a thing I can do about it...or maybe is it just plain seasonal affect stuff...but that can't be...cause it was sunny today.
Enzo waited all day for me to take him on a jaunt...but he is still waiting. I did not step one foot into my sewing room. I did not read one page of a book...nor did I talk to a neighbor.
Some days are just that, days...to just let move by while you carry your happiness in your hands to bring out when you are ready to really appreciate how very blessed you are.
Yeah...I am happy...it is just today I needed to carry a note around with me as a reminder! lol

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Words

"The power of life and death are in the tongue" This words are the truest and most powerful in the Bible. If we only understood the power of our words on others we would be slower to speak and quicker to bite our tongues.

The power of our words can either build someone up or tear him down. I think it may be that we believe our words are RIGHT and that they need to be heard and taken heed...or something will not turn out correctly. How short sighted and self absorbed we can be about our words.


If only parents could relax and remember that their children are at the beginning of their experiences and that mistakes will happen and those mistakes will have their own consequences...they do not need to hear unkind words or words of judgement when they do.

If only husbands and wives can understand that some words, kind and hurtful are stored in a secret vault within the heart and are never forgotten.

Words should speak and instill life, not death. The should not be spoken if there is no good to come from them. They are man's most powerful weapon and thus should be used with discretion.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Girlfriends Are A Sheltering Tree

Having spent last weekend with a girlfriend I must reflect on exactly how important are girlfriends in ones life. As we grow we pickup friendships and the friendships between girlfriends when you are young are usually quite volatile. I remember my neighborhood girlfriends and I constantly fighting...spending sometimes a whole hour not talking to each other!
In high school I had several friends but only one girlfriend. I can't remember us fighting??? but we shared important stuff...like who was cooler, John, Paul, George or Ringo...no question it was John! If you are lucky enough to have hung on to a childhood girlfriend into adulthood then you have a friend that has truly shared your joys and your heartaches during a very vunerable period of life, they share a common history...they share a mutual memory of a time gone bye...they are like a sheltering tree.
I am blessed to have a hand full of girlfriends who I can trust to be there when I need them, who will tell me the truth, who will listen to me as if they really hear me, share advice when I ask for it, and stand up with me if there is a fight...they have touched the memories of my children's growing years and they are still around after witnessing my highs and lows. Some are my age, some are older than me...and some are related to me...but ALL are a sheltering tree.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

How Do You Sign Off Your Mail?

I was reading an article about how people sign off their letters, whether it be snail mail or email. It is the one area of a letter that speaks about the writer.

I have one friend who signs off every correspondence with the word, "Later." It is simple, denotes a future connection and keeps it non-emotional. I find that I sometimes struggle when I get to that part of the letter...do I sign off with "Love, Anna?" do I love this person...or want to share the love?? Sometimes you feel stupid right at the moment you press send...when you see how you have signed off. I will sometimes pre-program a sign off...currently it is "Momento Vivere"..."Remember to Live" But we are all living...so if you send it to a concrete personality are they looking at that saying...why wouldn't I remember to live??? Besides...why sign off in a foreign language, am I supposed to know what the means or do I have to look it up????

Sincerely, sounds toooo formal and detached for most letters I write. Best Wishes, has to fit the letter. I used to sign off my emails to Greg, "Love, me" because I figured he knew it was me so signing Anna seemed...well dumb. And, I do love him so love seemed appropriate...but Love, me...sounded like a plea. So I stopped.

My previous sign off was, "I live in the Possibilities." So was I trying to convince others of who I am???
So, for a while I am going to change my sign off daily...and have it reflect what I am doing. Below are a list of potential sign offs for your letters.

Hangin' with the dog, Anna

•All you need is love
•Happy trails to you
•Hasta la vista, baby
•Keep your stick on the ice
•Kiss kiss bang bang
•Live long and prosper
•May the force be with you
•Over and out
•Over to you
•Peace, love, and unity
•Start the engines
•Stay tuned
•Tag! You’re it
•To be continued…
•Yabba dabba do
•Cheerful greetings to all
•Hugs
•Kind thoughts
•Take care
•Wishing you the best
•Write soon
•Your friend
•Yours in friendship
•Be good/well
•Cheerio
•Cheers
•I’m out
•More to come
•Smiles
•Ta ta for now
•Take care
•Take it easy
•Until next time

Monday, November 8, 2010

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Yesterday I was having a conversation about love. How do you know exactly what love is and what has it got to do with relationships. As women, we are drowning in everyone else perception of love and what it should be. Movies, romance novels, periodicals and girlfriends...share with us what love is and what is the correct way to be in love. The thing about it is, love is one of those things that never is the same from one heart to the next. How love resides with myself is different than how it resides within my best friend. There can be no judgement about love because we never truly know the full body of it, in each and every person...because it is different...kind of like the mood rings of the 60's. They used to sell these rings where the color would change depending on the mood of the wearer...what really was happening was the color was changing due to the chemistry and temperature of the wearer which was totally different for each individual.
I reflect back on where I learned about love...I grew up each and every day hearing my dad say "I love you" to my mother. My mother never said it back. Did she not love him...did he love her too much? Did he need her more than she needed him? Who knows...what I do know is these were my first templates. As a teenage girl I read every steaming romanitic novel in publication. I now knew that love has to be a 24/7 passionate, heated kind of love...lots of emotion...loves of highs and lows...hummmm didn't work out that way. Dating, I learned that love was for some, conditional....hummm was this how love was to be???
All the cues and sound bites of what love is...and in reality I find that love...is a risk and it is worth risking your heart for. That although the love of my life does not wake up every day and say...I love you...I see it when he cooks dinner. I see it when he outlines a safety plan for my travel. I see it in the way he extends himself in so many ways. He does not need me...he wants me, and that choice is love. It is conscious choice, not filter through what others idea of love is.
Love is like a mystery book, one that brings new chapters with each year we spend together. I never want to know it all...I never want to reach the last chapter...I want to savor each page.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Fall On Clubhouse

I took a moment to look around the place and capture Fall.

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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Who Would Have Thunk It!?

Last week Greg and I went and saw the movie,"RED." It was a action comedy and was very entertaining. But one line has stuck with me all week. All the characters were retired spies. Morgan Freeman resided in a "rest home." When Bruce Willis visits him and warns him about a contract killer...Freeman says, "who would have thought it would come to this. We survived Vietnam, Afghanistan...and now we're just old...and who would have thought I would end up here."
As I head out this weekend to spend time with my childhood girlfriend...I realize we ARE old. We met when we were 14 years old and have remained friends for over 40 years. We both get AARP...for christ sakes...when did this happen. It is surprising because my brain still thinks I am HOT! But the mirror says NOT! The thing about getting older is that you start weeding out what doesn't absolutely bring you some semblance of joy. Time has more commodity than money. Family...well family is everything.
As I age I realize that holding onto pain...serves no purpose and so I can get rid of it faster. Life keeps marching on whether I am happy or not...so why not choose happy. It is the little things that can make your day...yesterday on my lunch break I figured out how to get my grandson's photo as wall paper on my phone...sweet...see getting older doesn't mean you can't figure it out!
Although I now know how important it is to know where the next "facilities" are located when traveling...and, that I need a comfortable bed and my routine...I am content with this age. It is who I am.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Don't Poke A Skunk

"One of the first rules of medicine is don't poke a skunk." according to Dr. David Peura, an industry consultant and former president of the American Gastroenterological Association. This is said in relation to the over use of medications as prescribed by doctors. A lot of people are on medication they probably don't need but, if is seems to be doing something or if in fact doesn't seem to overtly harming the patient then, doctors are reluctant to discontinue medication.

Thus, the success of the little purple pill and it's relatives designed to help with heartburn. Handed out like water and is a front line med if you so much as burp. Yet for a majority of people it is choices and behaviors that cause the burping and heartburn...yet we take the path of least resistance and take a pill. After years of taking the same medication we find that there are some serious side effects to this long term habit of popping a pill.

In one study a hospital found that 60% of their patients were started on acid-suppressing drugs with no valid explanation. Scientist have been concerned about the long term side effects such as bone fractures and pneumonia. In one study they found that the sudden stopping of the drug after long term use can actually cause the symptoms they are treating...we are a nation hooked on acid suppressors and other medications. A day does not go by when I interview a patient who's medication list includes several which they have no idea why they are taking it...or 2-3 of the same class of drug. When I ask, "what are you taking this medication for?" or "do you realize you are taking 3 different diuretics?" I get answers like, "I don't know." "My doctor put me on it." or "I take the little pink pill...you know the name." or "I don't have any idea of the dosage I am taking." WAKE UP...we are turning into pharmaceutical zombies!!!! Many people are their own worst enemy. Yes, it is good to get a second opinion...yes you need a doctor who you can relate too...but each doctor should be told what you are taking as prescribed by a previous physician. There are many people who have overlapping prescriptions because the doctor has no clue what is being prescribed by a another.

Rather than taking the heartburn med...maybe we could look at our stress levels, food choices, exercise options??? And maybe we can start being proactive about our health choices and be a contributor to decreasing the out of control health care costs by only using that which we truly need rather than that which is more convenient.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Hello Blog

I have been incognito this last few days...having fun with friends, talking and trying to gain my balance. I have been picking the brains of friends on this process we call life and trying to figure out...what it means to me. Some have been successful traveling through this time in their lives and others are struggling just as much as I am. So this past week have been about letting off a little pressure and trying to quiet my noisy heart. Yes, it is usually my brain which is full swing but as of late it is my heart. I know life is all about change. I know that the things I want the most in life is for my children to live full lives. I want them to have the freedom to make mistakes and revel in their triumphs...I just can't quite figure out where I fit in the changing landscape of this ever moving desert. I know according to every article I read about people my age that this is the time to refocus on myself, my relationship and what we might want for the remaining years of our life.


It is a struggle, one parent died before I had barely spread my wings and the other culturally and personally needs to control every aspect of the lives of those she loves.
I have spent a life time trying to ignore everything coming my way and thus have shot myself in the foot a few times...now I listen and discard what I, either don't agree with or don't need to hear. So, at the same time life is changing for my children I must figure out how to trust the change in my own life.


I think I need a conference call between my heart and my brain...after work today I will make a call.

Friday, October 22, 2010

I Need My Food Stress Free...



I read this article this morning and just had to put it on the blog...there is something creepy about all this...it has again made me think about where our priorities are....

"It comes free-range, cage-free, antibiotic-free, raised on vegetarian feed, organic, even air-chilled. Coming soon: stress-free?

Two premium chicken producers, Bell & Evans in Pennsylvania and Mary’s Chickens in California, are preparing to switch to a system of killing their birds that they consider more humane.

The new system uses carbon dioxide gas to gently render the birds unconscious before they are hung by their feet to have their throats slit, sparing them the potential suffering associated with conventional slaughter methods.

“When you grab a chicken, turn it upside down and put it on the line, it’s stress, stress, stress,” said Scott Sechler, the owner of Bell & Evans. “Our system is designed so that we put them to sleep without stress, and we kill them without stress.”

That is sure to appeal to a segment of the chicken-buying public. But telling them about it presents a marketing challenge.

“Most of the time, people don’t want to think about how the animal was killed,” said David Pitman, whose family owns Mary’s Chickens.

Anglia Autoflow, the company that is building the knockout systems for the two processors, calls the process “controlled atmosphere stunning,” but Pitman said his company is considering the phrase “sedation stunning” for use on its packages. Also on the short list: “humanely slaughtered,” “humanely processed” or “humanely handled.”

The trick, he said, is to communicate the goal of the new system, which is to ensure that the birds “not have any extra pain or discomfort in the last few minutes of their lives.”

Temple Grandin, a professor of animal science at Colorado State University and a prominent livestock expert, consulted with Bell & Evans as the company worked with Anglia to design its system. She said it was better because the chickens were not aware of what was happening to them.

Sechler said the system he chose, after years of research, was better than similar gas-stunning systems used in Europe. Those systems, he says, often deprive birds of oxygen too quickly, which may cause them to suffer. They are also designed to kill the birds rather than simply knock them out, something that Sechler is not comfortable with.

“I don’t want the public to say we gas our chickens,” he said.

Sechler said he expects the chickens to be more tender because they faced less stress when they died.

The new system is also meant to be better for workers. The live hang area today is usually dimly lit to keep birds from being startled, and workers have to contend with struggling, flapping chickens.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has been pushing chicken processors for years to switch to gas stunning systems, in part because it doesn’t believe that electrical stunning works.

But the National Chicken Council, which represents chicken processors, contends that electrical stunning systems are effective and humane.

Richard Lobb, a spokesman for the council, said that being shackled upside down was not overly stressful for the birds.

“They are shackled, and they typically stay there quietly,” Lobb said.

Bell & Evans said it would begin selling chickens slaughtered using the new technology in April. The company, which processes about 840,000 birds a week, distributes its chickens nationwide.

Mary’s, which distributes in several Western states, expects to install the technology in June. The company processes about 200,000 birds a week.

By comparison, a single plant run by a large processor like Tyson Foods may handle more than 1 million birds a week.

The gas technology is expensive. Each company said it would cost about $3 million to convert their operations and more over time to run the systems. That makes it a hard sell in a commodity-oriented industry that relies on huge volumes and low costs to turn narrow margins into profits.

Sechler predicted that consumers would come to demand birds slaughtered in the new way, which would force the industry to gradually switch over.

But to demand it, consumers have to know about it, which gets back to the language on the label.

In Britain, although many chicken processors use gas stunning, store packages typically don’t mention it.

“People don’t want to know too much,” said Marc Cooper, a senior scientific manager in the farm animals department of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, in London. “It’s hard to sell humane killing as a concept.”

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Have I Got A Story For You...

Greg was reminding me that if you get a group of people together in a circle and whisper a story to one person and they pass on the story...by the time it gets to the last person it would have morphed into an entirely different story. Which brings me to two different stories...one I believe morphed from the other.


About 3-4 weeks ago Robin introduced me to a patient of hers that lives up the hill on the golf course from us. I had shared earlier that Enzo woke up in the middle of the night barking at something outside and I had wondered what was out there. The patient said coyotes had taken down a deer in the early morning hours. Later when he went to investigate he found the deer was not dead but mortally wounded and called the police, who came out and shot the deer.

A week later I was told a story and asked if I had heard about it...a guy came out of his house on the golf course in front of golfers and the drink cart girl, shot a coyote. The drink cart girl was crying, the police were called who arrest the man for firing a gun (in front of golfers, inside city limits, at wild life).

This morning I was thinking about both stories, and there had been no news item of a gun being fired on the golf course, nor any record of an arrest. I told Greg, the first story was 1st person recount...but I think the other story was morphed though out the community with bits and peices of the first. The second story included, wildlife, a gun, the police and the golf course...the same as the first.

Which brings me back to what Greg was talking about...when a story is told over and over again it has a life of its own. I no longer take what I hear as fact. I wait, I research and then I decided if I believe what is being said.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Lists


I am not a list maker. Last Monday I asked a group of friends at my quilt group if they make lists. 75% were list makers. They are religiously and fanatical about the benefits of list making. Especially when it comes to quilts they want, need or started. But the list makers also make lists to organize every day life.


I once made a list of "quilts in progress" and it only served to freak me out so I have never made another one...but the last 2 days I have made lists of things I needed to accomplish or pick up at the store. I write it on my calendar so as to not lose the list which has always been a problem in the past...and, I get it! There is a real satisfaction is crossing off something from a list that looks a mile long...and you feel less stress cause you are getting stuff done and not forgetting something important.


So I have decided to enter the world of list makers...but, only for things needing to get done on a specific day...NEVER, about my quilting!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Dark Side

I knew that the candy industry was supported by government officials who want Americans to be intoxicated by the sugar induced stupor...but I had not clue the extent of the damage by Halloween candy! until I read this article. I am so glad I am one of those underground resistance fighters who only partake of the dark side. Dark Chocolate is the way to freedom and if we keep looking for other like us we will create an army that can take down those that would control our bodies and minds. Join me, read and awaken to the subversive tactics that are being used by our own neighbors!!!

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/eatthis/5-worst-halloween-candies-and-10-best-survival-tips



Tuesday, October 12, 2010

WWJD











I remember a few years ago a lot of people were wearing bracelets that had the initials...WWJD. Finally after seeing several of these I asked someone what it meant. "What would Jesus Do?" I was stunned to say the least. These were mostly worn by teenagers...given to them either by a parent or a youth minister to get them to think about WWJD before they took that first drag off a cigarette, had sex, drank booze or any manner of heathen activity. REALLY...as my cousin would say...


I started thinking about this yesterday when I heard some say that Christ (with a capital C) saved their marriage. I wondered why a person couldn't save their own marriage? I have always been curious about the idea that people are only good when they have religion. Can a person not be good, kind, honest just because it feels good to be these things? Can we only be good, kind and honest if we have religion and Christ? And what about all they other "gods"...are they not as good as ours???? I wish the group that believed in mankind, was kind, honest, supportive without the rules of religion was larger...because it seems the world is fractured by "my god is better than your god"...and we're going to heaven but your not! I have been on this quest since childhood when I used to cry myself to sleep because my dad did not believe in religion. How could such a generous, honest man end up in hell while, myself the doubter but the church goer would end up in heaven. Even at 8 yrs old...I had questions. What I found in my young adult years was you didn't need religion to be kind...in adulthood, I feared I would lead my children down a heathen path without religion...and now coming full circle I realize they are good people and so am I, without religion.


I think God (with a capital G) is laughing at us...we were given the soul to be kind, generous, empathic but instead we depend on those outside ourselves to tell us what is right and what is wrong...god takes many forms for different people but in all forms they are laughing...the joke is one us.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Starry-eyed not lazy eyed...

How is it that some couples seem to stay starry-eyed for years, and others let their sizzle, um… fizzle? Well, it appears that successful chemistry sustainers develop healthy coupled-up habits which allow them to keep their love alive and kicking. “People can have a lot of trouble staying close,” says Joyce Catlett, coauthor of Fear of Intimacy. “They get into relationships and think they’re automatically going to know how to make everything work, but figuring out how to stay passionate together is really a skill.” Luckily, they’re skills that anyone can learn. Here are six habits that you’d do well to adopt if you want your date to become your happily-ever-after mate.


This last line cracks me up...cause the real commitment to these habit means working on them after you have found your happily-ever-after mate.


Habit #1: Catch romance where you can
“You may start out with chocolates and roses, but the likelihood of being able to sustain that feeling with a busy schedule is pretty unlikely,” says JoAnn Magdoff, Ph.D., a New York City-based psychotherapist. Successful couples learn to build a bubble of romance at unexpected times — during their daily commute, while doing laundry — and in low-impact ways, whether that be a long, lingering smooch or just holding hands. In other words, the next time you hear yourself say “Oh, look, we’ve got 15 minutes to ourselves,” make use of it — that’s what keeps the spark alive.

Habit #2: Fight fair
Believe it or not, learning to fight right is an important part of keeping chemistry alive. Why? Because if you are constantly cutting each other down, it’s hard to feel mutually amorous. “There is no such thing as a relationship without disagreements,” says David Wygant, author of Always Talk to Strangers. “But if there is an understanding that your partner can come to you with any dissension without being attacked, you will have an honest relationship comprised of ‘open discussions’ rather than ‘fights.’” Debra Tobias, who has been happily married for almost 10 years to her husband Steve, agrees. “Steve and I have learned to listen to each other when we’re upset and we admit when we’re wrong,” says Tobias. “We also make a rule of never, ever saying ‘I told you so’ no matter how much we might want to say it.” The result is that their chemistry doesn’t wane because they never let their arguments escalate to a personal level. Focus on the issue at hand instead of throwing verbal punches.

Habit #3: Nurture your separate selves
Going off to your book club when your sweetie’s out golfing isn’t a sign you two are drifting apart. On the contrary, developing individual interests allows for a richer life as a couple. By taking little “couple breaks,” you gain a greater appreciation of the gifts your partner brings to your life and you have more to offer as well. “It’s very attractive to be independent sometimes,” says Magdoff. “You feel better about yourself and you’re less demanding of your partner when you’re together.” After all, taking some personal responsibility for your own well-being relieves the other person of the pressure to “provide” happiness — so go ahead and nurture some solo adventures. That’ll also keep each of you stocked with plenty of adventures to chat about, which also builds your bond.

Habit #4: Take on a project together
Separate interests aside, exploring new ground together is also important since it strengthens your history of shared experiences. Jo Smith and her husband of four years found this out when they committed to running their first 10K together. “We were training together, carbo-loading and hydrating together, running the race together and ultimately succeeding together when we both finished,” says Smith. “It brought a whole new level of closeness to our relationship because of the time we spent learning as a duo during this endeavor.” Couples who take on adventures together get a sense of daring and accomplishment that can really kick up their chemistry!

Habit #5: Don’t let your physical attraction for each other dwindle
No doubt about it, couples with healthy libidos have no problem keeping chemistry cooking. (That whole “couples’ desire for each other naturally fades over time” excuse? Not true.) The trick to injecting more electricity into a lagging love life has to do with trying new things — sure, it can be easy to work on tricks and techniques when you first meet, but people’s preferences can, and do, change over time. “In interviewing people on the topic of physical intimacy, it became clear that the couples who were the most satisfied were also the ones who were open to some experimentation,” says Catlett. This isn’t to say you suddenly have to become a wild thing, though. Even returning to the basics you may have abandoned along the way — lots of kissing and eye contact, for example — can make the usual encounter feel very different… and much more intimate.

Habit #6: Engage in some mutual admiration
In order for chemistry between two people to thrive, there needs to be mutual respect. “It’s about putting yourself in the role of an observer of your partner,” says Magdoff. “Watch them ‘perform’ — I’m not saying they need to do a song and dance for you — just pay attention to the everyday things that remind you why you find them so special.” Then, make it a point to lob compliments their way. “A good exercise is to occasionally create a mental list of the qualities you dig about your partner, and to occasionally share one of your thoughts with the one you love,” says Wygant. Because the reality is, you’ll always want to be around someone who thinks you’re fantastic.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Surprise

As I sat at my dining room table on my birthday looking at news on the computer I saw a man walking up my walkway with flowers in his hands. I was not only amazed that flowers were being delivered to my house...(he must be at the wrong address) but I was noticing how I was feeling.


I was raised by a romantic man and a practical woman. Gifts were extraordinary when the romantic man shopped but not received with excitement. I watched my mother exchange or return most gift. Thus I became a practical receiver and giver. Which means, it is better to not to risk giving or getting a gift that could be rejected. I have over the years asked, "what do you need, what do you want." I like to go shopping with the receiver so I know I am getting exactly what they want and it won't be returned to the store. I love stores that have registries for showers and wedding. No risk.


But, on my birthday...I saw and felt the excitement of getting a surprise. And even more interesting was that the surprise was fresh flowers, which in my childhood household were the ultimate waste of money. I remember telling Greg early in our marriage...don't get me fresh flowers they are just a waste of money and don't last long. Was that me talking or my mother? Because I can tell you watching that man arrive with fresh flowers and hoping that he was at the right address...gave me a thrill. Signing for the flowers...well everything about receiving them made me realize that getting a surprise can be so good for the soul.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Miracles Do Happen...

Miracles do happen. But, we contribute to the miracle. Some believe that "God" is in charge of all miracles and in the sense that is true, there is a touch of blessing in every part of our lives...but the miracles happen because we believe we can do something and we can make it happen. And so our little Will had a 4+ hour surgery, had his head taken apart and put back together less than a week ago! This photo was taken post op day 4.
Because a boy believed he could become a doctor who could put the tiniest of humans back together when they are broken.

Because 2 parents had the strength to search for the right answer

Because grandparents supported their children and grandchildren with love and compassion.

Because a brother lives with empathy and is accepting of life's challenges and keep on going.
Miracles do happen. But, we all have a hand with God's blessing in meeting each new day.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I'm At It Again



It might be that I am doing this cause I am going to turn 57! Or maybe I have just had a religious experience? Maybe it was the story that Emily told me about the woman who died under the pile of her hoarding and her husband didn't find her for weeks...Or maybe I just want to be free....what ever the reason, it is amazing.
Since organizing my sewing room and feeling the high that comes from feeling in control of my little world...I decided to tackle the paper. I have talked about my struggle with controlling the mail and it was manageable when people were really running scared with the economic downturn because there was half the junk mail. But, the economy MUST be on the upswing cause the junk mail has doubled!
I have to admit the junk mail is only the tip of the iceberg. The really daunting paper is the paper we have been hauling around for 20 + years. It is a filing cabinet so packed that even if I wanted to be organized, there is no room...cause god forbid I should throw out the bank statements from a bank I used to belong to back in California! Well no more! For several hours this morning dressed in my PJ's and a sweatshirt I stood in the garage with a cup of coffee and the file cabinet! I had the giant recycle paper can next to me and I purged. All the "sensitive" information papers I put in 2 large leaf bags...all the rest in the recycle. I found several of the boys report cards...I did recycle them...but first I enjoyed the moments of...and why did you get an "F" in that class. Maybe I should have saved them to use as blackmail at a later date...hummm...maybe recycle bin diving is in order.
I found a poem that Greg wrote back in 1991...saved. I found my youngest son's baptismal certificate filed under "important stuff." Lots of photos...why are they in the file cabinet? And what was that girls name you went to the prom with???Anyhoo...The bin is full, the rest of the stuff I took down to the SecurShred at Bend Garbage and had them shred it...oh my god!!!! It was like stepping on the scale and finding out you lost 10 lbs since yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!
Cleaning out the cobwebs of our lives is a wonderful feeling. Get rid of stuff you don't use, suck up the dust of too much stuff...and shred the paper!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Soft Isn't Necessarily Better

We took the soft foam mattress off our bed. We had bought it about 3 years ago at Costco. The latest thing for a blissful nights sleep. Cost us over $100 and it did feel like lying on a cloud. It was suppose to contour around your body and support every point. Our mattress was a great pillow top type mattress and now it was really tall and soft. What we have found is soft is not always better, because over the last year it seems having a soft mattress makes for more aches and pains. So after spending 3 nights on a hotel bed and one night sleeping over at our son's place we found that...well we ached less. So we took off the foam mattress and I have been sleeping like a rock!



On another note...I was reading the internet news and came across this...absolutely yuck!!! Another reason soft isn't necessarily better....

"This is mechanically separated chicken. Chickens are turned into this goop so we can create delicious chicken nuggets and juicy chicken patties. It's obscenely gross and borderline alien but it's not going to stop me from eating nuggets. They're too good.

The process works a little something like this:

There's more: because it's crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color."


Thursday, September 30, 2010

A Season For Every Man



Every season has its gifts. Winter, bring beautiful snow falls, soup steaming on the stove, good books and snow shoeing.
Spring brings leafed out trees, flowers and the return of the birds.
Summer brings festivals, all manner of outdoor activities, warm weather, sitting on the deck for happy hour.
But, Fall is my favorite. Foremost...there is the color! That vivid red, orange and gold that appears. The occasional warm, warm day followed by a crisp night. My body want to get outside even more this time of year because I know there are winter days coming. I tend to want to get orgainized because I know I am going to be spending more days inside than out. Fall is my favorite time of year...it was the time of year I was born and I am forever linked to this season....it is my most peaceful season.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Thoughts

I have been in transition this entire year. I don't have a clear idea of what has precipitated this or if it is different than any other year...after all life is transitioning from one point to another. But this year feels different...more momentous and I like the tingly sense that life is really unfolding in a interesting way.
It could be that with the marriage of my oldest child my role opened up...I became a mother in law and a grandmother! 2 new roles and ones that I love and feel loved in return. It could be that my youngest is on the precipice of a new adventure.
Whatever the reason I am feeling energized, ready for new ideas, ready to give up old ideas. Ready for new relationships, ready to let go of old ones. I read that your 50's is a time of discovery...it can be about you, for the first time. I am lucky in that I have no regrets...for me every mistake I have made was a clue to the next step.
The best quote I read this week, "All compulsions whether it be food, gambling, cleaning...is about filling the anorexia of the soul." I can't stop thinking about that...there is a nugget of truth in there and I am enjoying the puzzle.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Do Over

Today is the beginning of my "Do Over." Most people pick a Monday for a do over but I decided today was my day. I was reading an article on living longer and the number one thing you can do is lose weight and get healthy. Most Americans do not save money for health emergencies because they thing their health insurance will be there...but health care cost far surpass what insurance can cover and the number one reason people file bankruptcy is medical bills.
So, since I do not want to save money for medical bills that are not covered by my health insurance I am going to do the one thing I can do...lose weight and get healthy.
Now that my quilt room is in order...it is time to move on to the next task...myself. I am good with this. It feels good, I don't feel bad about myself nor am I judging myself. I am approaching this as another task to examine and work on...Do overs are soooo refreshing...I love a good do over.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Failure to Launch

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Interestingly enough, out of the hundreds of seagulls on our beach only one was a "failure to launch." He would non-stop screech at his mom...constantly following her and trying to get food out of her mouth. When I say non-stop...I mean the entire day. Both he and his mom were residence of the hotel grounds where we were staying and had risen to celebrity status...for both his persistence and her patients. For some motherhood can last longer than the breast feeding stage.