I have been incognito this last few days...having fun with friends, talking and trying to gain my balance. I have been picking the brains of friends on this process we call life and trying to figure out...what it means to me. Some have been successful traveling through this time in their lives and others are struggling just as much as I am. So this past week have been about letting off a little pressure and trying to quiet my noisy heart. Yes, it is usually my brain which is full swing but as of late it is my heart. I know life is all about change. I know that the things I want the most in life is for my children to live full lives. I want them to have the freedom to make mistakes and revel in their triumphs...I just can't quite figure out where I fit in the changing landscape of this ever moving desert. I know according to every article I read about people my age that this is the time to refocus on myself, my relationship and what we might want for the remaining years of our life. It is a struggle, one parent died before I had barely spread my wings and the other culturally and personally needs to control every aspect of the lives of those she loves. I have spent a life time trying to ignore everything coming my way and thus have shot myself in the foot a few times...now I listen and discard what I, either don't agree with or don't need to hear. So, at the same time life is changing for my children I must figure out how to trust the change in my own life.
I think I need a conference call between my heart and my brain...after work today I will make a call.
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