Mothers ~ Daughters

The relation of mothers and daughters has always fascinated me. I listen intently when my friends speak of their mothers and it may be the most complicated relationship that exists. In my 50's I realize that in someways I am the perfect daughter...I don't ask my mother for anything, I never reveal my inner thoughts and I try never to appear weak or depressed. On the other hand I am a failure as a daughter...I am not thin, I did not get a doctorate and I did not marry a rich man.

When I listen to my friends speak of their mothers the number 1 word that comes to mind is frustration. Is it because we did not meet the expectation of our female creator? Or is it because we reflect the things in themselves they do not like or did not achieve? It is an ongoing dilemma and one that will be repeated with our own daughters if we cannot figure it out.

My own mother signs most of her letters with this tag line, "I am a life time learner and I am proud of who I am." This is the god honest truth. She is incredible and proud. I am proud of her and see the potential for myself in my senior years....BUT...wouldn't it be nice if her tag line could be, "I am proud of you." 5 little words that could have made a huge difference in how I felt about myself and my relationship with her.

I have attempted in the past to speak with her about my feelings but what I know is our mother-daughter culture does not include personal feelings. So I take my feelings and give them to my husband, sons and friends...and you know what...I am happy.