The Sweet Spot

Hey...at least I didn't add the poop!  But this blog is about the sweet spot. Our morning ritual is, once the heater kicks on I am supposed to get up and take Enzo outside.  The last two mornings I haven't heard the heater come on and so I continue sleeping until suddenly I feel a wet nose nudging me.  He is now tall enough to stand next to the bed and lie his head and wet nose against me.

OK, already...this morning is my turn to make breakfast in bed.  It is a nice way to move into the day but first we have to go outside a do our duty...I mean doodie.

As I am standing in the very crisp cold air I watch Enzo search for the sweet spot.  That perfect spot to deposit his gift to the world.  I start thinking whats the difference from this little inch of earth and the one right next to it...but he starts and adjusts and decides, no it's not this spot...no it's not that spot....no the sweet spot is over here!!!!!!!  Geezzzz

But, then I start to think...is he any different than us.  We need our sweet spot, not just in which bathroom we use the most in our homes, but we decorate it up...cause if you're going to chose that as your sweet spot, it needs candles, pictures, pretty towels...in fact our sweet spots include everything.  We can't sleep without OUR pillow.  We sleep better in OUR own bed.  We sit in the same chair when we eat.  We like the same spot to watch TV....

I guess Enzo is even less anal (no pun intended) than us about life and requires only one sweet spot.  Thank god today is a busy girlfriend day...cause obviouly I need some excitement to write about.

So Many People...So Many Big Cities

Yesterday I was reading an article to Greg about the forecast for earthquakes.  In the 1800's there was only one city that had over a million inhabitants...Bejing, China.  Now there are several hundred cities with over a million inhabitants.  For earthquake scientist and forecasters this poses a huge dilemma.  How to predict and issue warnings for people who live in congested areas.

I grew up in earthquake country.  We had several fault lines running around us and school fire drills also included earthquake drills.  When Peter was a baby we had a big one and he and I were sitting under the dining table calling Greg on the phone (long cord)...cause our glass sliding door was waving like water.

So many places have been built without earthquake codes and there exsists a lot of structures that were built before there were even codes.  Having been in Bejing while they were building like crazy in preparation for their Olympics I can say...I wouldn't want to be in one of those high rises in an earthquake!

Today I wake up and there has been an 8.8 earthquake in Chile.  That is huge! Huge enough to issue tsunami warnings for the countries boarding the Pacific Ocean.  Mother Nature continues to adjust her skirt and we have to have a plan.  So, if there is an earthquake everyone come to my house.  It is built on a hard pile of rock.

Year Of The Tiger

I love reading about the Chinese lunar calendar.  The year of the tiger began on Feb. 14th and will run until Feb. 2, 2011.  Much research as gone into the compliation of the Chinese lunar calendar and whether you believe in it or not is it a fun read...

People that are born in the Year of the Tiger are generally well liked because of their charismatic personalities. Often, failing at a given duty or being unproductive in his personal or professional life can cause a Tiger to experience a deep sense of depression.A Tiger is always at their happiest when they endeavor to climb the ladder of success. Attaining the top spot is his foremost purpose; being in a position of power is her ultimate goal. They are quick learners, need to be challenged and often prefer to work alone. Some Tigers tend to change careers more frequently because they get bored quite easily. They are natural born leaders and perform at their best if working towards positions of power and influence. So once there is no further room for progression, they will often move on to something else.

Anyone that is born in the Year of the Tiger is usually straightforward and outgoing by nature.

Greg and I were born in the year of the snake...read and see what you think...

The person born in the year of snake is the wisest and most enigmatic of all. He/she can become a philosopher, a theologian, a political wizard or a wily financier. Such person is a thinker who also likes to live well. The snake - person loves books, music, clothes, and fine food; but with all his fondness for the good things of life, his innate elegance gives him a dislike for frivolities and foolish talk.

These people are self-confident and usually don't bother themselves listening to someone else's opinion. But this side of their character has also a negative load. Refusing to listen to constructive advice, they may get into needless trouble. Although it is difficult for such people to take advice, they are patient with others when it comes to give a hand of help, and their ability to look at a problem from a variety of angles is extremely appreciated. When faced with a dilemma snake people as a rule act with speed and conviction, since they believe intensely in what they are doing and rarely waste time or energy on projects lacking in good potential

They like communicating and like interesting conversations, although if the conversation becomes repetitive their attention may soon wander. It is almost impossible to fix their attention for long talking about the weather. They prefer to focus on new interesting unusual ideas and intelligent discussion in general.
These people have a special feeling that enables them to judge situations correctly and so they are alert to new possibilities and when they have an idea of what to and how to do it, they you pursue it persistently and energetically. (Now I understand why I have finished 6 quilt tops in the last 10 days...hummm)

It is important to remember that life is not all work and competition. Snake person perfectly knows how to wind down and relax when such opportunity arises. This type of people often makes protective and caring friends. However, their anger can be quickly aroused, and they will soon get their back up if there is a suspicion that someone has taken advantage of their trust or has hurt those close to them.  Oye Vey!

I Feel Electrifying!

photo by Connor Bates

Ohhhh I feel a mood change...what could have brought this on????  Maybe it was being called off from work!  Dang!  I need to work, I need the money, I need the time, I need to have funnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!

It is so funny how one moment you are thinking about the next day, getting up early...as in very early...making a lunch...planning on putting your best foot forward for your employer...and then...you get called off!!!!!!!

It is electrifying!!  Suddenly I don't feel so tired.  I feel a few pound lighter...I think my skin is glowing and I am suddenly smarter!!!!!!!!  A gift of an extra day off is like finding money on the ground. Or discovering that even though you didn't buy a ticket, the lottery decided to give you the jackpot!

Enzo is grinning, cause a day off for me...means a day hangin' together.  I am on top of the world...and I think having a extra day off may have made my butt smaller!

Definately a good mood change...

The New Poor

The new poor, people who have been used to a middle class exsistence but are now for the first time on public assistance and unemployment. From the photos above we didn't learn our lesson the first time.

Central Oregon's unemployment is higher than other parts of the state...and as we drive around town we can see the overgrown partially built subdivisions and empty homes.  It is a wake up call to acknowledge the level of our consumption.  Living within your means was not the American way.  Credit allowed us to live beyond our means, it gave us a false sense of our own value.  We got sucked into the idea that even if we couldn't afford something...we deserved it. 

One of the interesting results of this economy is the turn towards religion...and I mean religion in any form.  I find it peculiar that people who gave up their particular religion or never were religious, now in hard time have decided to join the flock.  It is like religion is a fall back position.  Now, that I am down and out, if I turn towards God someone else will save me.

Here is a quote from an article I was reading, "Here in Southern California, Jean Eisen has been without work since she lost her job selling beauty salon equipment more than two years ago. In the several months she has endured with neither a paycheck nor an unemployment check, she has relied on local food banks for her groceries.

She has learned to live without the prescription medications she is supposed to take for high blood pressure and cholesterol. She has become effusively religious -- an unexpected turn for this onetime standup comic with X-rated material -- finding in Christianity her only form of health insurance.

"I pray for healing," says Ms. Eisen, 57. "When you've got nothing, you've got to go with what you know."

Call me crazy but I don't think God said..."here is a whole bunch of religions, now chose the one you like and you won't have to do a thing...I will always save you."

I believe man was given a life...this life...and it is yours to make headway or screw up.  It is yours to learn and grow through your choices and experiences.  Going into some building and praying is not using the power within yourself. 

Life is about learning.  Greg and I made many mistakes, we learned...figured out what didn't work and chalked the failures up to pieces of our puzzle.  Living below your means is not painful...it is powerful.  And if God gave me this one life to live, I am not going to be praying for a better life...I am going to live this life fully and responsibly.

History of Hate

The Aryan brotherhood wants to relocate to John Day, Oregon.  I wonder what falling out they had with the state of Idaho?  I remember years ago when Greg and I were planning to relocate I expressed my concern about moving north.  I had a list of places I absolutely would not relocate to...most in Idaho because several "hate" groups had set up shop.  Sure not everyone is hateful that live in Idaho and there are some absolutely beautiful places...but not for me.

If you have never experienced racial hatred it will be hard to understand the nausea that I feel knowing a group like that is in my back yard.  This type of prejudice is directed at every cell in your body.  Very few things can make my hairs stand up but, this is definately one of them.

While growing up in California my parents protected me from racial hatred.  Sure occassionally I would "hear" conversation when my parents were faced with it...but as a child I did not understand nor directly feel the hate.  It wasn't till I moved to Oregon that I was faced with actual racial prejudice...the in your face...I don't like who you are because of your race.  Then some of the childhood memories of my parent's conversations came back to me and I had fear which translated into anger.

It has been several years since I had an "in your face" don't like every cell in your body kind of prejudice...and now I can feel it...creeping into my exsistence.  If the Aryan Brotherhood move to John Day it will make Eastern Oregon off limits to me.  I love Eastern Oregon...but I will not spend a penny there nor travel through...it will be tainted.  I know it is unreasonable on most intellectual levels.  I know there are already a ton of prejudice people there  but, until you have someone sleep with a knife on his stomach in the hospital to protect his wife from some JAP nurse...you cannot understand the level of my anger.

This is where I plant my stick.  Yesterday for the first time in at least 8 years I saw the face of prejudice.  I had a very nice gentleman as a patient.  Visit going well, then he started to talk about China taking over the US.  I started to get uncomfortable.  I could hear a second conversation in my head...keep the visit moving, get this guy out of your room before you say something that will create a scene.  He was a nice pleasant man filled with prejudice.  I started to say something in response but realized this time was about getting him safely into surgery...not educating his prejudicially sorry ass.  Then he said all us WWII vets have nothing good to say about the Japanese...so close...so tense...so ready to say...something.  But I had to do his labs and give him his instructions...I had to be professional...and I was...he left happy not realizing how close he was to be escorted out of my room into Keith's room which he would not have faired any better in...I am sooooo glad he did not ask me what nationality I was...a simple question has different outcomes.

I am Woman Hear Me Roar...

Whenever I hear this song I think of the Shean-Jones girls.  A little bit of genetics and whole lot of parenting has created a little band of girls who are a force to be reckoned with.  When I look at this photo I see all kinds of shoes...but not beach flip flops...because of course, if you are to be who you are, you need to wear a statement and on this day flip flops were not what you had in mind.

Yesterday, I got a call from Erin thanking Sarah and I for giving her a job at the wedding.  In the next breath she stated she will be wearing a tiara, a new dress and her dark maryjane shoes.  Of course she will wear a tiara, afterall she will be greeting the guests and having them sign the guest book.  It is going to be a wonderful life watching this little girl grow up into the woman she will become.  Of course, Amaya was just as excited to be her little helper and had equally strong fashion sense.  I am thinking that I may have to go through the guest line several times just so I can hear Erin greet everyone.

you lookin at me????

I don't think life will be the least bit boring with this little band of girls...cause I can hear McKenna's roar already....

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

The Shower started as an alternative to the dowry. In the 1890's, friends and family put small gifts in parasols that were opened over the bride's head. Years ago, as the story goes, there lived a young Dutch girl who loved a young Dutch miller. The miller was so generous to the poor that he could never save a fortune for himself. Because the young man was not rich, the maiden's father disapproved of the match and refused to give her a dowry. But the village folks, and the young people, had desired their marriage. To make up the girl's dowry, each villager brought some treasured possession of his own until a chest had been filled with all household goods that a bride should bring to her new home. With these contributions, they 'showered' the maiden until even her father was won over. From that day to this, it has been the custom for the bride's friends and family to present her with gifts for her new life. Don't despair over a bad turn in the weather. An old Roman proverb states, "Rain falls in the lap of the happy bride."

I marvel at the sistas...they are so beautiful, so different and yet so close. Life can be weathered with a sis at your side. The best part of showers is the people watching...it is the beginning of families and friends coming together to celebate the love of a couple and at the same time put aside all their own histories. When people rise to this level of love...it is amazing.

Our hearts have this incredible capacity to love and share. It is wonderful getting to know people and hear their story...for each person's story tells so much about who they are, where they are heading and what space they live their life.

Sure, families are made up of a group of people who through a common gene pool ended up with each other. Sometimes our friends are as important as family.

But, in every family exisit a person who is the lightening rod for the family. They are the family soul, they are the family joy, they are the one who brings us all together because they hold our hearts...Sarah is that person.

Sarah's bridal shower was so much more than just a party. It was an event where women could come together, putting their pasts behind them and rejoice for one woman's joy.

My son is blessed to have met this funny, heart warming, caring, beautiful woman.

Yesterday I learned so much about the power of women from the efficient decision making, to the connections that are shared to create a dream wedding.

The only regret I have is that Becky is a bridemaid...cause really...she could have catered the entire wedding...Martha Stewart...eat your heart out!

Choice

Photo by Connor Bates

The most talked about news in Central Oregon is the divorce of the Diocese of Baker from Cascade Health Systems.  Yes, the Catholic church does not want to be associated with the hosptial.  The bishop is basing this on the inability of the 2 orgainzations to agree on the moral code that the hospital should adhere to in order to have the church be in relationship.  As quoted by the bishop, the fact that the hosptial provides sterilization services is against church law.  In this day and age the church has acknowledged that times have changed although the basic tenants of their laws have not changed.  But the bishop of the Baker Diocese is pushing it one step forward, if you have had a tubal ligation or a vasectomy...naughty, naughty...and if you had it at St. Charles then we are going to punish all the Catholics who are patients or visiting family by not providing religious services.  So, last week all Catholic items were removed from the chapel and mass will no longer be served at the hosptial.  Way to go bishop...you showed the Catholic community where you stand.

Since the bishop required everyone to sign papers that gay people were not following the laws of god...and for gay people who actually were deacons and parishoners to denouce their way of life, he lost some good people who have served the church for many years.  With this next stand we'll see how many practicing Catholics who have had their tubes tied or a vasectomy will actually be ok with sitting in mass saying "yes um." 

I wonder if this is the bishops way of trying to force procreation because he needs more donations to pay off that church he built or the lawsuits still out there where priest were molesting children'.  It is so sad because the mass being held at the hosptial was not for the hosptials benefit, the church has not financially supported the hosptial for several years...it was for their own flock to have emotional support during their most stressful times.

I spoke to someone at work who is very committed to the Catholic church and it presents a dilemma, do I continue to work for an orgainzation my religion does not believe is following the moral code of the church?  Where do I draw the line, how do I make my choice?

Choice?  Religion although providing emotional support for so many people, and much good has been done by those who believe...has created the most divisions among families, communities and countries.

My choice, to work towards goodness within myself, by my own rules.  My choice, includes the world not what one guy tells me inside one church.

Annie's Sweat Shop

I swear I have to laugh out loud at myself sometimes.  My brain is an interesting and complex playground that even gives me pause.  Once it kicks into some idea and decides that this is what I want to do...the brain makes it happen. 

If I decide to take up running, I run a marathon.  If I want to play the piano, I play one on stage.  If I want to be in a play, I sing and do 8 performances.  Weird brain.  Sometimes I think it may want to take over the world...hahahaha.  It is the Jones in me.  That piece that can create something out of mud.  Then, when you add a sprinkle of Kim...you think you can conquer the free world.

2010 I had decided was my year to fly below the radar.  Take some time to see what the next chapter will read like.  Try to be in the moment. yada, yada, yada.

Just so you can understand what I am up against...my brain has been nagging me to go up to the college and sign up for algebra classes???  Is that not weird?  My more normal side says things like...there are lots of people having a hard time registering for classes because they are so full...and you're going to go up and take up a space because brainiac wants too???  I am not sure who will win this battle...I will keep you posted.

As a distraction to what is playing out in my brain I cleaned my sewing room and started sewing.  Not just started sewing but in the last 5 days have completed more than I did in all of 2009!  Brainiac has set up a virtual sweat shop and I am churning out stuff left and right. 

Don't get me wrong, me an brainiac...ying and yang...mutt and jeff...fons and porter...wonder what the solution is to 5(-3x - 2) - (x - 3) = -4(4x + 5) + 13?

Pooped

Man am I ever pooped today.  I think it's contagious because this morning while we were all changing into scrubs, several people said they were pooped because they didn't sleep well.

I woke up at 0230...as in AM...my brain said...hey, you are having a rehearsal dinner...but what about the rehearsal?  Hummm...didn't think about that...hummm...better figure that one out....hummm...then at 0300...I thought...wonder what I should have at the rehearsal dinner...then at 0330...I thought @#$% I have to get up at 0400 and get ready for work...is that Greg or the dog snoring????  What am I going to wear???? to the wedding...oh damm I have a pap smear scheduled this morning...

I am soooo pooped.  I think tonight is breakfast for dinner night cause I can't think when I'm this pooped.

The View

Photo by Connor Bates

This is such an amazing photo.  It has excellent composition, good lighting and meets the technical aspects photographers seek.  More than that, it is the view from one persons eye.  Not eyes, but the mind's eye that seek, finds and acknowledges the beautiful of that which is right in front of you while other unfortunately will miss the opportunity.

In every day life we pass extraordinary moments, amazing people and unusual events without taking the time to capture it in our hearts and mind.  We are rushing.  We are preoccupied.  We are stressed.

Life is so rich...the good, the bad and the ugly...but it is life.  As I make my way through any given day I am more aware of what is around me and because of that I have ridden in a limo for $2 in San Francisco, I have been moved to first class on a flight at no cost twice, I have met the Kurdish Ministry, I have been photographed with a batalion of Chinese soldiers and I now have a pile of Winnie the Pooh needle point pillows from the 1950's to figure out what to do with...Life is exceptional if you capture the moment.

At Our Age Thongs Are Not An Option!

I was reading an article in the paper about the longevity of some marriages.  A professor at one of the university is doing a study on what are the key elements in marriages that survive over 30 years.  He said that some attention is given to the rising divorce rate but little is given to the actually rising numbers of those who remain with the same person over 30 years.

Sure you always hear about that anecdotal story of the couple who stuck it out only to divorce after 35 years of marriage...but those really are rare.  And there is the divorces that happen once that last child leaves for college and the empty nest has to be dealt with.

Back to the article...the professor said that many of his student after taking his class say, I'm not going to marry, it is too much work.  I find that sad.  Yes marriage is a lot of work.  But as with all work, when you work hard for something there is a satification that you cannot get by any other means than the hard work itself.  Same with marriage.  It is the kind of hard work that brings on a satisfaction that you can take to the bank.

So, you wonder what this photo has to do with marriage?  My list of what has made my marriage last is....

1.  Love. 

2.  Humor (thus the card.  Greg has given me some beautiful, loving cards over the years...heart felt...every so often I get one that makes me laugh out loud.  Thongs are not an option for me. When he asks, I laugh out loud.  So when he gave me this card...well, I laughed out loud, felt loved, and my heart felt light.  Humor can get you through a bad day at work, a tough day in the marriage, a gloomy day outside.

3.  The belief that you are married to the best person in the world for you...so you never look around just in case you made a mistake.

4.  Conversation. Not just how was your day...but politcal, moral, freaky news

5.  Making time.  Time just for us time

6.  Hanging on to each other during tough times

7.  Saying regularly, "I am so lucky you found me."

8.  Agreeing to Disagree

9.  Space...it gives you time to develop your own interests and thus you are an facinating person.

10.  Love...circled back around from #1.  The emotional, caring, lustful kind of love that acknowledges that sometimes you don't feel like it but when you do it is perfect.

Valentine's Day

"While the history of Valentine's Day is sometimes debated, it clearly links back to a Catholic saint named St. Valentine.

The problem is there are actually three St. Valentine's -- one a priest, one a bishop, and little is known about the third. All were martyrs."

"A conventional and widely accepted belief about the holiday itself is that Valentine's Day grew out of a Middle Ages tradition of celebrating Feb. 14 as the day "the birds began to pair."

 

Every year I get an email from my mom stating how commerical Valentine's day is and that it is a merchant's holiday.  She is not a romantic...and although she would like to believe this holiday was started by Hallmark, in fact it is rooted in a history that spans the globe.

 

As time has marched forward Greg and I have come to a less commercial Valentine's Day, letting it evolve into a time to be together, sharing our love and reflecting on our blessings.  We have passed the holidays where jewelry was purchased, flower and chocolates were staples...

 

The gift I have this year is a short story of me as a little girl.  While all the other little girls dreamed of weddings, prince charming and wearing that white dress...I did not.  I cannot remember one instance as a young girl where I pretended I was getting married or figuring out the names of my future children.  Why???  Because I knew he was already out there.  I wouldn't have to pine away, wishing, pretending and hoping...because I knew he was already out there and he would find me someday.  I am so glad he did.

Touch

When I looked up the word "touch" in the dictionary there were over 100 definitions of the word.  I think the reason is that this word is soooo powerful.  It can bring love, it can bring hate...it can bring peace or chaos.

The power of touch can make my day go well or down the drain.  Whenever I listen to a patient's lungs I always place my hand on their shoulder...there are times I actually feel them relax.  Touch.

We can touch people in different way, either physically or vocally. We can touch someone by our deeds.  We are able to touch others by phone, email, snail mail, or through the world wide web.  My cousin can put his children to bed by Skype.  There are so many ways to touch someone it makes me wonder why more people don't make the effort?  If we are not careful the speed of life can take away our desire to touch others.

Out of the dozens of definition of touch I liked, "to affect with some feeling or emotion."  I wish to touch, because what I have discovered is when I touch someone in whatever way I choose...I get a warm feeling that soothes my soul.

PS.  Thank you Ingre, your little surpise touched me.

There is a Heaven...It Is My Quilting Room!

Having been given the day off from work yesterday I spent the entire day working/cleaning...my quilting room...and it is now a piece of quilter heaven. My floor is now beautiful and I am not steping around bags...and best of all the projects that are "in progress" are in their individual boxes.  I discovered a few or rather several things that I was missing including this very cute chair that Greg bought me several years ago.  Both of us forgot about it because it was buried under a pile of projects.

You can actually see the top of my cutting table, which in the quilting world is so wonderful because it allow for spontaneous creativity and fabric cutting!  And did I tell you about my floor...the only thing lying around now are dog toys...because Enzo hangs out while I am quilting!  Now I am again coming clean about the nausea I felt when I discovered how many quilting projects were in progress and there was the melt down that occurred with I discovered all the Quilt Shop bags I had stashed...but the upside to that is Greg now has a wide range of bag sizes for his lunch.  He is after all the perfect quilter's husband.

When I woke up this morning I had to run to the doorway of my quilt room and just stand there...it even smelled sweet.  When I started taking pictures Greg asked what I was doing...I am documenting for my blog that I can be in control of my fabric...now I just need my cousin's label maker!!!!!!!!

6 Personality Traits To Admire and Aquire

I read this article and thought it was such a good one that I am reprinting it verbatim...in the reading I realized that there is still so much I have to learn in this life and isn't that wonderful...to always having the choice to grow and learn...

"Selflessness: In a world where many people don’t have the time or the interest in others, selflessness is a quality that seems to be less and less common. People can be selfless in the time they give, the ability to listen, their level of patience and the love that they give. Those who are giving and generous in nature have the power to make others feel loved, appreciated and special. While those who are self-absorbed tend to do the exact opposite.

Tolerance: Those people who are tolerant make us feel comfortable with who we are and special as individuals. All of us are different, and many of us have quirks and idiosyncrasies. After all, these differences make the world go round. Having the ability to accept people for who they are and not expect them to be who we want them to be is important in life, happiness and in the health of our relationships.

Genuineness: Having the ability to be real, authentic and honest is unique in a world where we put so much emphasis on the superficial. Feeling comfortable in one’s skin and being true to one’s self is one of the most beautiful traits one can possess. To have a REAL relationship with someone requires honesty…it requires hearing and giving input or feedback that may not always be popular…it means having the strength to tell it like it is and to not be afraid to face the consequences for doing so…it means loving people for who they really are…deep down…and not for what they appear to be.

Sensitivity: So often we are focused on what is important to ourselves that we can forget about those around us. Those who are sensitive are often thoughtful, appreciative and loving, in a way that makes you feel understood, valued and respected. Often, sensitive people are also self-aware, making them mindful of how they impact others with what they do and say.

Integrity: Call me cynical, but I think this characteristic is especially difficult to find. In a time when people will do things that are underhanded to make an extra buck (Bernie Madoff…can you hear me?), expose their personal lives to the public so they can be famous (balloon boy’s dad and any other reality TV mongers) and do what feels good in the moment without necessarily thinking of the consequences (Tiger Woods), integrity is a characteristic that is especially unique today.

Humility: Whether someone is super-smart, extremely talented or drop-dead gorgeous, there is something extra special about them if they don’t come across as though they know it all the time. Humility in those that possess extraordinary traits make others feel special too.

Oh boy the list could go on! What characteristics do you admire in others? Are there any that you want to cultivate?"

My Name is Annie and I'm A Fabric Hoarder...

Yesterday on my day off I layers and quilted a beautiful table runner.  The entire time I felt crowded...why?...cause of the piles of stuff lying around my quilt room and the 5 bags of fabric that I purchased that do not have a location yet.  Later in the day I decided to start orgainizing and I realized that I didn't have a place to put the fabric unless I emptied a drawer. The task was to find a drawer which didn't have fabric already stuffed inside.

Voila!  I found one...it had what looked like a small pile of papers, on strip of binding, a package of shavers (don't ask me why, I haven't a clue), a paint kit for my car (should it ever get a ding) and 27 empty plastic bags from quilt stores!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why would I save those bags...and how long have I been saving them...are they there because my evil quilt twin knew someday I'd actually look at them and go...holy @#$%^ WTF???

So I went on line and looked for articles on hoarding...not so fun diagnosis to have...but for my quilting friends out there I have paraphrased an article just to fit us crazies...

In a July 2007 study in the British journal Behaviour Research and Therapy, 10 compulsive fabric hoarders underwent cognitive behavioral therapy, which included 26 individual sessions and frequent home visits. Following seven to 12 months of treatment, 50 percent had “very much improved” when it came to classic fabric hoarding behaviors like the clutter, excessive acquisition of fabric and rulers and the inability to discard the bags they came in.

These new findings hold promise not just for hoarders but for exasperated friends and family members who are both baffled and burdened by their loved ones’ compulsions to stockpile fabric, quilt magazines, rulers, plastic sacks full of unused fabric, and even small pieces of batting. 

Compulsive hoarders are different from die-hard collectors or “clutter bugs” in that they can’t stop acquiring things nor can they make themselves throw anything away,including little triangles of fabric, pieces of batting or quilt magazines and books.

So with this cutting edge research I am going to spend my next day off orgainzing my quilt room but today I am heading to work...wonder if I need to stop at the quilt store on the way home???

Aging

I got PO's yesterday because when I opened my Facebook page I found a rude ad.  On Facebook they run ads along the right side and for some spooky reason I had noticed that they are targeting me...like...

56 year olds are wearing Ugg boots, do you want to buy some? Or...

1,000 choices of quilting fabric, do you want to buy some?  Or...

People from your 1971 high school are looking for you, do you want to meet them?

Yesterday...one of the ads said, "Free food for senior citizens, over 50 you qualify for a $250 card for free food!!!" I'm a senior?...as in senior citizen???????? 

I think Facebook doesn't really know me...I wouldn't be caught dead in Uggs (not enough foot support for my falling arches).  I already have 1,000 choices of quilting fabric in my sewing room.  And I could care less about being found by my high school classmates...as for senior citizen...I am not ready and I don't need free food...I'm trying to lose some weight.  Facebook is not as knowledgeable as they think!

Orgainize Me

                         

My cousin Kathy bought a label maker...with white or pink labels. I love the label maker and it has already come in handy in placing my library card # on my lap top.  One small pink label has made one facet of my life easier...logging onto the library web site. 

Now the boys...don't get it.  Why are we so happy with the label maker?  It represents control.  We are gaining control of our lives.  We are orgainizing an otherwise consistently chaotic life.  If I had owned a label maker when my boys were young...I would have labeled up their lives.

The labels not only help with orgainzing but they are a concrete sign that life can be brought to a peaceful state.  There were times that I would be overwhelmed with the idea of cleaning an entire house...but if things were labeled, some of the decision making would already be done and thus lessening the load.

I remember deciding one time to buy bathroom cleaner for each bathroom and stop carrying the supplies from bathroom to bathroom...that was huge...it made the job easier.

Maybe as women we have to figure out how to make life more manageable and it if takes a pink label maker...so be it!  I am already making a list of labels I want...life can always be a little more orgainized.

The Dependency Ratio

"Longer lifespans, falling fertility rates and growing ranks of elderly people in Asia can pose problems as serious as the impact of climate change."

"Problems linked to ageing populations will complicate Asian economies' recovery from the global financial crisis."

"Countries with a large number of elderly people and a low birth rate will face demographic and economic problems supporting a large number of seniors."

"Australia on Monday unveiled a 43 million Australian dollar (38 million US) plan to keep older people in the workforce in a bid to ward off an economic slowdown expected as the growing population ages."

These are the truths that are rearing their ugly heads...we are not going to be able to retire...At least in the sense of retiring like our parent's generation...you give notice, the company gives you a watch and a big cake...you pull up your roots and move to motor home city, someplace warm, sipping pina coladas, playing bridge.

Nope, if we retire...we're still going to have to work.  So, does it make sense to retire?  Because no work found in retirement will give you the same income as you are making now.  So...if I quit and work at McDonald's or as a greeter at WalMart...is that how I want my retirement to look...  Or do I want to keep working so I can take an occassional wonderful vacation, buy a new car and afford the top shelf libation?

In other cultures, retirement means moving in with your children.  In American...retirement means your children "may" be moving in with you...sharing the mortgage and consolidating bills.  America has a harder time with this concept because it is not part of the culture to have multigenerational co-habitation.  We don't respect our elderly as much.  A cultural shift as large as the one that is occuring may take a generation or two. 

 Our children if we have played our parental cards right will understand the need for hard work.  Their children growing up in these economic times may understand that money does not grow on trees...but for us...we grew up and worked a majority of our lifes on the crest of an economic tsunami...creating bigger and more...taking vacations, spending and living the high life...and now it has hit land and has caused emotional and economic destruction in it's wake. Some of our children will be in as big a shock as we are with the tough decisions...But as with the history of our generation, how we weather our decisions, what choices we make will have an impact on our children's lives.

Retiring, working part time at McD's and taking a vacation once a year to Lake Billy Chinook...well...not my cup of tea...

Block Of The Month

2010 I am stretching my quilter's wings and tackling 2 block of the months.  One of them I know what the outcome will be...the photo above.  The second one is a mystery and I will get only a block each month, discovering the completed quilt at the end of the year.

I have been quilting since 1993 and I have learned a lot from my quilting, and my quilts.  It has opened a world of creativity, girlfriends...taught me forgiveness, humility and generosity...BUT, these 2 blocks of the month are challenging me in a different way.  I am learning patients, acceptance and commitment.  I am not choosing the fabric, it is given too me...and yet I must figure out how to make these quilts my own...putting my mark on them, so they won't look the same as everyone else's block of the month quilts.

Quilting...it is my passion, my peace, my story.

Women

Erin

I had lunch with my cousin yesterday.  I love these moments with her because they give me a peek to my past as a woman, mother, wife.  Women are amazingly strong. 

My mother is always worried about China taking over the world because of their economic strength...it won't happen in my life time...the reason, they devalue their females.  China has a history of killing female babies and in the past has limited the number of children per couple, resulting in an off kilter population...too many males, not enough females.  Until they allow their female population to grow...they will be, behind the 8 ball.  Although females in most countries are second class citizens it is their strength that keeps a family tree growing.  I love strong women.

The wonderful thing to watch is how a strong woman can raise strong woman.  Take Erin, a power to be reckoned with.  She is the product of a stong woman and when I see this photo of her I see the woman she will become...it gives me hope.

Strong women can be a challenge in men's lives but in the long run they enjoy their lives more...because weak women need tooooo much. 

Entitlement vs. Gratitude

"American society has become a society of entitlement. The entitlement attitude says, "life owes me something," "people owe me something," "the government owes me something," or "God owes me something." "My parents owe me something." "My teacher owes me something." "My employer owes me something."

This quote expresses what keeps some of us stuck.  We have since the "New Deal" believed that if we work hard that we are entitled to what we want.  This does not take into account that sometimes you work hard and life kicks you to the curb.  If life kicks you to the curb and you live your life by the rule of entitlement...you are always going to be angry, frustrated and a victim.  Living by the rule of entitlement will ultimately bring the bully out in you...because to be entitled creats a belief that what you are entitled to supercedes what the next guy is entitled too.

The only guarantee in life is change.  Hard work does not guarantee a good life...look at the field workers.  Hard work does not mean you drive a fancy car or live in a big house or have perfect children. 

I watch people at work, those who feel entitled to all that their employer has given them in the past...and continue to feel they are entitled to the same treatment and benefits...no change...I am entitled to 6 free massages a year...I am entitled to free coffee...I am entitled to the position I work within...no change...because I am entitled.  This attitude sets you up for anger, depression and the undermining of your self esteem.

"Expressing gratitude for everything in our lives, including, the things that we would prefer to have been different, is powerful and empowering. Expressing gratitude is within the Law of Cause and Effect. The Law of Cause and Effect embodies the truth that Law pervades the Universe; that nothing happens by Chance, that Chance is simply a term indicating cause existing, but not recognized or perceived, that phenomena is continuous and without fail or exception."

If we start each day, grateful for our ability to go to work...to help another human being...we empower ourselves.  Sure as human beings we will sometimes slide to that space of griping...but you have to be careful because griping is a relative of entitlement.

My 2010 Word - Release

I have no idea what this photo is about but it had my 2010 word of the "Release" and I need to somehow sustain my commitment to the word.

There are issues...actually one issue that I struggle with and that is my mother-daughter relationship.  But I am aware enough to figure out that this particular struggle is not unusual...that there are whole shelfs at the book store that talk about this particular relationship...and I have talked with others who have this same struggle...how can you love someone so much and at the same time they make you want to pull your eye lashes out one by one.

There is no doubt in my heart that I have great love for my mother and that she is an amazing person...the issue comes in knowing that this one person can sometimes make you want to lie down and never get up.

Just once I want to hear from her lips how lucky she is too have me...hahahaha....that even sounds funny when I type it...fat chance.

The really great thing is that I have my very own special word for 2010...Release...and when I say it, I feel better and when I say it, I feel the love in my heart for her...I like who I am...and the bottom line is I would not be who I am without who she is...so there...

mothers and daughter, ying and yang, cake and frosting, gardens and fertilizers...hummmm I had better stop before I start smelling up the blog...lol

How Many Friends Do I Need?

The world of Facebook is an interesting look into our social connections.  After joining facebook a couple of weeks ago and taking the time to search, watch and try to understand this world that Facebook has created...I am getting less confused.

Of course I am making excuses for myself for taking the plunge...but...all I wanted to do was be connected to family that live out of town.  It has proved to be beneficial.  I am now connected to cousins that I rarely talk too, on the other hand it has made me look at the parameters of what a friend is???

After looking at a blog that I follow and noticing that this person is also on Twitter and Facebook...I clicked on her Facebook page...1,126 friends!!!!!!!  That is like being friends with the entire city of Sisters!  What is the point.  You can't possibly be friends with that many people, unless your definition of friendship is that you saw some guy, who saw some guy drinking a cup of coffee in the Sister's Coffee Company and is now you Facebook friend.

It makes me wonder if a person's self worth is based on how many friends you have accumulated. It makes me wonder if this tool, Facebook can actually undermine your self worth...like taking you back to high school...wondering if you have enough friends...are you popular...and what does it mean when someone does not want to be your friend?

The real question is how much of your life do you want to share with a friend of a friend of a friend???  How easy do you want the "creatures" of your past to find you?  And do you really want the computer to be your very bestest friend...cause you sure are spending a lot of time with it...

What I know for myself is that Facebook has opened a connection with my cousins.  I don't want to be friends with my children...they need their privacy and they will share with me what they want to share (besides I like to hear their voices and even email seems more personal).  My dearest friends...well, why would I need them on facebook...I see, talk or email them regularly...and I want that level of connection.  And really...do my Facebook friends...really need to know I am having stomach cramps...or ate a gerbil...or won some pig from a farmer in Farmville....hummmm  If you are someone who I see once a month, do I want you to have access to my life every minute of the day, via Facebook.

So, here I am with my 8 friends feeling quite popular and I again have figured out how to move with technology but keep my boundaries.

I Gotta A Coowd

A Cold Virus

I have a cold.  I rarely get colds.  I have a cold.  My nose is running like a waterfall.  I have a cold.  My head is all stuffy.  I have a cold.

I spent the last weekend quilting with girlfriends and came home with the gift of a cold.  Most people would be PO'd that they got a cold, but for me...it makes my weekend last longer. 

In the scheme of my life I rarely get to quilt for a whole day...life starts talking to me.  I can occassionaly get a couple of hours in, here or there but rarely a full day.  As soon as I start quilting I hear the dishes clanging to be done, Enzo starts ringing the bell on the door to go outside, my car starts whinning that we have errands to run...and recently my yard has been seductively trying to get me outside to play.  But quilt retreat gives me a full long weekend of quilting.  It is amazing what can be created when you quilt in long stretches.  The friendship, the conversation, the laughing all make quilts and quilt making have good juju. 

So here I am with a cold.  I had fully intended to be on the go all day working on the puzzle of the life I left behind last Thursday...instead I have a cold.  Which means...I quilt today.  I have already unpacked my quilting life from the weekend.  I have a candle lit...a book on CD ready to listen...and a project in mid-creation on the design wall.

Thank you for the cold...I needed it.