Stella 1956-2009

She was my grandmother's last child, 3 years younger than me. Our lives have been intertwined differently than most individuals with strands of love and envy. Fate gave us different paths and because of those paths, different choices and different lives.

Most people who met Stella would envy her beauty, grace, financial stability and family. But to know her, you would envy nothing and only her strength you would admire . She was dealt a losing hand from birth. It is times like this that I wish I had the belief of a fundamentalist...I could raise my hand to god and scream, "why does one person have so much heart ache?" I believe that we are all born with potential and depending on the existence of love when we are young, our lives start moving down a path that is filled with right and left choices.

Her father died before she even knew him and her mother passed away about the time she was 5 years old. From that point it was a short period of pass the child until one older sister became the designated mother. She remained there as an acceptable but not embraced child until she was 17 years old and moved out, by this time living in Los Angeles. She recounted, that period of time in her life was her loneliest...living by herself in an apartment. Working full time at a grocery store she started going to community college and met her future husband.

She married when she was 20 on a hot August day, the following month Greg and I were married.

I was older than her, she was my aunt. I was her niece, she was my sister's sister. I was an only child until my sister's adoption, when I was 9 yrs old. She had 5 sisters, including my own and a brother. I had a sister which I shared with her. Love and envy existed for me throughout our teen and young adult life...because of her existence I learned....

envy is a waste of time and only hurts yourself
hard work reaps rewards
one can survive tremendous heart ache
love is not exclusive
insecurity can be overcome
you own your choices
put one foot in front of the other

and most importantly...

even though you do not forget...you can forgive.

Paying The Man

Never before have I been so grateful to pay my bills! It is interesting that in these unprecedented times that the ordinary takes on a whole different view.

Although we worked hard to get homes, our home is suddenly a refuge as never before. Family, who have been a pain in the a$#@! are now ones that we want to be more connected with and are more grateful for our connections. Our jobs, which provided daily recreational bitch sessions are now places we want to go to each day...with a heart felt thankfulness.

Then, there are the bills. Before we viewed them as a monthly or bimonthly assaults on our wallets. But now they represent our choices in a very clear way. They can be a billboard of what we think is important in our life. House, car, heat, water....and now they can show our excesses and priorities. When the world was different...as in 2005 I paid my bills with a irritated feeling of being put out. Fast forward to 2/27/2009, this morning I found that it was nice to pay my bills. A nice cup of coffee, gathering my small monthly pile and paying the man. Why is it different? Because I have pared down my bills to represent who I believe I am. They are a small pile that represents a responsible individual, who does not need stuff to feel good, who makes choices for the long term good and in the course of 30 minutes can spend the rest of the month stress free.

So paying the man isn't so bad....but I am still feeling a little leery about figuring out taxes....oh well, life was never meant to be perfect.

Reading

Well I survived my schedule yesterday, ending the day with great fun...even though I have a cold. Being with my co-workers in a more relaxed setting was just what I needed. And....book club was stimulating.

When I have a few more hours in a day I want to volunteer to teach adults to read. I can't imagine not having the ability to read. The world is so complex and to venture out if not physically but at least through the written word will make you a better person.

Book club gives me a chance to hear and listen to how others view the same thing I have read...and they are as varied and similar as my own.

A coworker copied an article on fiber and I could not go to bed till I finished it...reading is inspiring and sometimes full of bulk!

Whiney Wednesday

It's a late blog and I am whining about it. Maybe it is because this day my life is a little out of control and maybe it is because I am coming down with my first cold of the season...and maybe it is just because it is Wednesday.

Any hooo...I am feeling dragged, stomped and thrown under the bus. I have chosen to not alter my plans which means I am going to a good bye dinner for a former coworker...don't want to miss that. Then I head to book club...don't want to miss that cause the book of the month was awesome...and I have to go to work at 5:30 in the morning...whaaaaaaa

Ok, I am done crying because what's a little cold anyway. After seeing what was coming through the OR today a cold is a piece of cake....

hey, maybe cake will help my cold...foodie needs medicinal help...

Foodie

noun Slang.
a person keenly interested in food, esp. in eating or cooking.
Origin: food + -ie, perh. in part extracted from junkie

Ok, I was born to be a foodie...not in a good way... more like the junkie part of the definition. I was sent to my first diet group at 10 years of age. This has definitely been a life long issue. In fact my mother's milk dried up on a trip across the Atlantic by military transport heading to New York, so they fashioned a baby bottle out of a soda bottle and a nipple made out of the tip of a rubber glove.

I have been on various diets, tried virtual every synthetic food out there and have lost vast amounts of weight...not all in a good way.

But the last year has been the best adventure of my life. I have spent the time looking at what I am eating and why. This past year I have purged every last diet food out of my life...no more snack bars, baked chips, frozen diet meals, fat free this or that. I have also given up filler foods...I no longer purchase vast amounts of popcorn, rice cakes, crackers that taste like cardboard....which now leads me to my next adventure.

How to fall in love with food. How to not look at every bite I take as the enemy.

First, I have done research. Watched documentaries called, "The Future of Food", "King Corn", and "Eating for Optimum Health." Lots of reading material including, "The Omnivore's Dilemma." All of which have given me food for thought! I can't suddenly call on my French genes to eat small portions with love in my eyes but I can start looking at food differently...as a good friend.

Next step, I cleaned out my house of as much processed food as possible. This part proved to be labor intensive because I had to read all the labels to get down to those things that have 3 or less ingredients and preferably organic. I was on the path of purging chemicals out of my body. It is truly amazing at the changes in your bodily functions when you stop putting chemicals in it on a daily basis. I endeavored to decrease the amount of corn syrup, corn by product and corn crap in my body....truly corn is in everything. There is nothing wrong with a sweet ear of corn but do you want your body chemistry to be predominately corn.

With the change, came the move to try and go totally whole foods, as local as possible. It truly is expensive, challenging and a goal....oh and how I know myself and goals...

The best part...I am enjoying my meals.

In The Moment

A friend told me that if she is in the presence of her son and his phone rings...he had better not answer it. She is challenging him to be in the moment. The change that has occurred dramatically over the last few years is the dependency on our cell phones. I carry mine every where. I wonder how I survived before I became dependent on being tapped in.

Once you succumb to the world wide connection it is very hard to unplug. I ponder how many lives in reality are saved because of the cell phone. I know anytime Greg goes out in the woods I want to know he has his phone with him...it is the only time he carries one...although when we travel I ask that he have it also.

But the bigger question is...has the cell phone made us more connected and accessible to each other or has it created an environment where we are only present until the phone rings.

Now texting is a whole other way of connecting. The highest volume of texting occurs with the 13-17 year olds, with the average text messages per month 2,272. There is a social connection that occurs and a convenience but the downside...people are losing the English language. I see it in emails or snail mails that I receive...language, grammar and spelling are lacking. The issue is if one has focus, patience and can master the complexity of writing a complete thought.

It is suggested that addiction to text messaging be included in the diagnostic manual for mental illnesses...who knows we may evolve to a specie that no longer needs vocal cords.

The Latte Factor

There was an interesting article about the Starbucks' company. Now I have heard before that our personal budgets can be effected by the latte factor...meaning it is the same daily draining of our coffers that makes a difference at the end of the month. So, buying a latte each day with an average price of $3 would cost $21 a week, $84 a month, $1008 per year....wow....that is without the biscotti.

What I did not know is that Starbucks is a better predictor of the state of our economy than your financial advisor. In fact, if we had paid attention we might have been forewarned about what was coming.

In the middle of 2006 Starbucks was opening an average of 6 stores a day. By the very fact that Starbucks is considered a luxury item it is a leading indicator of our broader economy. Starbucks has anticipated the market at every bump. Starbucks stock began it's decline at the end of 2006 way before the rest of the market. Starbucks isn't really in the business of selling coffee, it is in the business of selling affordable luxury, as they themselves have said, "a 3rd place where people can gather that is not home or office." When we cut back it is not on the caffeine but where we get it...So Starbucks was the first company who had never had a negative growth to start closing stores. They started closing stores before the banks, retailers or newspapers, because they felt it first. Since they were selling us a lifestyle, they knew before everyone else that on a daily basis, one cup at a time....we weren't playing any more.

Friend, صديق, 친구, amigo, ami, मित्र, Freund, 朋友

Yesterday we got a call that a friend was coming to town with his daughter and would like to stay with us. His daughter was participating in a math event and so he would have some time to visit and catch up.

There are friends that you have lunch with, there are friends that you go to the movie with, there are friends that you work with or do activities with....but the most cherished of relationships are those that transcend time. Friendships where you shared history and even though life carries you like daffodils on the wind when you see each other again, it is as if you had seen them just yesterday. Catching up on what our children were doing, what we were doing, how our relatives were and the latest book we were reading gave me such a sense of peace.

Some friendships are just so much more than the moment.

Nature's Face Blanket

The Source (our weekly slightly bent free paper) had an article called Nature's Face Blanket concerning the beard growing that occurs around Central Oregon during the winter.

"Beards have become increasing acceptable in the past couple of years" ??? Apparently there was the assumption that a bearded man was either a logger, a homeless logger...or a hippie. You can now have a beard and a job. 71% of the staffers of The Source have beards.

Where have I been. The last time I saw Greg's "soft as a baby's butt" face was on my wedding day...almost 32 years ago. I did love his clean shaved face but I think a person should have the right to do what they want with their own hair and if he likes his beard (and it is a nice one) then who am I do demand a clean shaved face. If I started demanding a clean shaved face, he might start demanding that I dye my hair blond...or get a mullet.

What I do know is Greg is not a hippie, or a logger, or homeless...he is just a hard working guy who has been gainfully employed, who likes his beard.

Rubber Necker

I was talking with a coworker yesterday who said she needed to stop watching the news because it was all depressing.

Although I don't watch the news I do spend a good chunk of time reading the paper and Internet news. It is depressing, but so hard to stop. Although I do not consider myself a rubber necker...one of those people who slow down to take a good hard look at someone else's misfortune. I do take a peripheral view as I drive by, which may not be a total rubber neck but for sure, is a peek.

After yesterday's news which was worse than the day before, which was worse than the day before that...and so on and so on...I realized that my peeks had turned into full blown "news" rubber necking.

Greg said this morning that I should only focus on those things in my own life that I can change and have control over...and pass on the rest. Sounds like a plan...I just have to get passed the maternal worry of what the world will be like for my children, for my friends, for my neighbors, for my boss, for my employer, for my banker, for my grocer, for my gym, for my community, for my town, for my state, for my country.....whew....oh yeah, back to only what I can control...I got it, keeping my self healthy, my bills paid, and finding ways to enjoy my time will eventually have an effect on the rest.

Do You Love Your Job Enough To Marry It???

What a hoot! There are some statisticians who have been tracking if people love their jobs enough to marry it??? This year it is up to 15%, last year it was 9%. There are more people this year saying they are happy to have a job, heck I have said that numerous times this past month...but marry it??? Liking a pay check, being able to pay your bills is not loving enough to marry.

Currently I am involved in helping to implement an EMR (electronic medical record) system but for the last few days it feels like electronic madness record. Do I want to marry it...heck NO. Am I grateful for having a job that helps others and still get paid...for sure.

But if I was going to love a job enough to marry it...it would be in a quilt store, landscaping, teaching someone to read or being a taster at the Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream factory.

America's Emptiest City

There are some interesting trends, facts and stories that are coming out of this economic catastrophe. What has occurred and is continuing to happen is a 180 degree turn in how Americans view their lives, their families and their possessions. I am sure this last year and the 5 years that led up to it will provide fodder for many a university level sociology class.

It is ironic that America's emptiest city is one that is the epitome of decadence. First, a city is loosely defined as one with over a certain number of people and comparatively I am talking about big cities. According to Forbes the emptiest city is Las Vegas. This is based on vacancy rates for rentals, the number of houses that are empty, and decline in school populations.

So, the number one spot is indicative of the change in consumerism, recreation, decadence and impulsiveness....boy are we in for the change of the century.

Amazing Race

Last night was the new season of "Amazing Race." I rarely watch TV on a television...I know, weird. But the first show of the new season I decided to stay up and watch. Yesterday afternoon Greg and I went to see "Taken" which is filmed in Paris. When we got home I brought out my photo album of the trip that Connor and I took to Europe to show Greg (again) the shots of Paris I had taken to prove my point that it is impossible to drive fast in Paris...total gridlock.

In looking and reliving our trip I remembered that Connor and I had called it our Amazing Race. We traveled through 12 countries in 17 days. Had to learn money exchanges, language, how to read train schedules, find a place to sleep and figure out what we wanted to see. We ended up going through countries we hadn't thought of seeing, met people who have had profound impact on our lives even today and found out that dark chocolate truly is the perfect food. We became stronger in spirit, more aware of our surroundings and understood that thank you is a universal phrase.

I was not disappointed with the first show of Amazing Race because again they had a mother-son team. I love those because I always remember our race and I wonder how we would fare if given the chance to be on "The Amazing Race"...I am going to start running again just in case I get a call!

Annie Newspaper #3

Crust Winners

Times have definitely changed, men were the bread winners...women the crust winners. Women are approaching the dubious 50% of the work force mark. Yet they continue to earn 78 cents to every $1 a man earns. But currently the unemployment is higher in the male population that the female. The impact on the family in this economy is causing an infrastructure change in the family. When women are unemployed they do twice the work at home but according to a survey when men are unemployed they watch more TV, sleep and look for another job. I think this may be changing. The micro-economy in the average American family is making a big shift...

Jody Denton, former chef of Merenda's heads to Australia

I can't imagine what it must be like to be at the top of your game and have a headline like that. To go before a bankruptcy court and declare you have nothing. Move your children and life to another continent. I wish him success is picking up the pieces of his family life.

Spend or Save?

Save for the future but spend as if the future of your country depends on it! So when you get your stimulus money don't buy a new pair of jeans...take the money and spend it on your future. Improve your home or spend it on an appliance that will save you money in the long run...not something that in a month will be broken or worthless.

Lesson of the Bust

1. Bend is not a unique economy but interwoven with the world
2. Invest in education
3. stronger and smarter city government.
4. amend land laws to allow more industry

it is sad to drive around town and see brand new streets in unbuilt subdivisions when the street leading to them are a mess. If the city had stuck to it's gun and said developers must invest in surrounding street improvements, there would have been fewer developments and the surrounding areas would look better. But we were conceited in our belief that what we wanted and how we looked mattered more than the over all community. It makes me angry to see these new streets without houses and you can find an unpaved street with houses in the middle of town....or sidewalks only on one side of a street.

U Turns

When driving around town there are intersections where U turns are allowed and other where they are not. You make a choice to go in one direction but suddenly decided it wasn't the best one and so you make a U turn and get back on tract. Some U turns are time savers, some are illegal and some are just impulsive choices to try a different direction. Not all U turns are the best choice. Sometimes we make a U turn and find ourselves in a more difficult situation or spending more time trying to get where we want to be. I have made U turns where I couldn't make the full turn and have to back up a little to complete the turn.

And so....the hospital has made a U turn. Trouble is we didn't want to make the turn with them...we were content to continue on the direction set before us. I have worked here many years and in my mind have always felt blessed to have landed in this little island of caring. For many years I received a Christmas bonus! I had never heard of a place where a nurse was given a bonus...that was corporate America stuff. We were taught that the place we worked cared about our emotional well being, we took classes in the "people centered teams" approach of "I think, I feel, I want." We were given an opportunity to have emotional support, voice our opinions, classes to learn how to deal with stress. We were given FREE 15 minute neck and back massages on a regular basis that could be scheduled on our breaks. We not only had a gift shop that rivaled any shop downtown but we also had a health and learning store. Besides a hospital style cafeteria we had a cafe style bistro....We got used to be cared about, and for.....

then the sudden U TURN....

No longer exists the "People Centered Teams" in fact those that supported that concept no longer work in that capacity. No massages. No bonuses. No free coffee. You can tell that for most, the feeling of being cared for has changed. People walk with the weight of fear, carrying their coffee mugs from home....caring little if they get a bonus, just hoping their badge works each day they arrived to work.

U Turns don't always take you where you want to go, sometimes they take you back to where you started, sometimes they take you back to where you need to be...

I wonder where this U TURN will take me...I have always been open to adventure, even if it is a little challenging.

One...Six...Fourteen

No time for blog this morning but will spill my thoughts this afternoon. It will be thoughts on a philosophical discussion that Connor and Jenn were having last night...which then prompted me to really think about the numbers...hmmm...are you intrigued???

I'm back...so can a single woman effectively parent 14 children...can she love them as individuals or are they always destined to be a collective organism with 28 arms and 28 legs?

So lets look at the facts.

It takes approximately $355,906 dollars to raise one child to 18 yrs of age. The cost includes,
housing
food
transportation
clothing
childcare/education
the miscellaneous category
and a college education at a public institution

these cost only increase as each year passes and inflation kicks in and can really increase depending on the choices you make for your child. Private school, eating fresh foods, sports, vacations.

More importantly is how far can one person spread themselves. If you work, then between the hours of 5PM and 9PM (bedtime) you must meet the needs of your children...so how much time does it take to meet those needs. If you have 4 children then each child gets an hour...but the quality of that hour depends on if you are the 5PM child or the 8PM child. How hard was work that day, how tired are you, do you have to cook dinner, is there homework....

I found in raising 2 children that I had to be efficient, I can't fathom 14. I envisioned the kind of life I wanted for my children...sure I occasionally dreamed of more children and had we "accidentally" had more children I would have figured out how to make it OK...but I could not consciously decide to have more. Because I knew the life I wanted to provide for my children and the kind of parent I wanted to be meant being able to be present...even then, I sometimes fell short. The times in my parenting life I felt the worst about were times I fell short, too tired, too much to do and overwhelmed. I did not want to have children to make my dream come true. I wanted my children to have the kind of life that gave them the ability to make their own dreams come true. For a child to feel important within this world they must first be important to their parents. It is not possible to make 14 children feel important because they need your time to feel that.

So back to the discussion if the woman who had 8 babies should have had in vitro and are their ethical changes that need to occur...

The facts, she could not provide the basic needs for the 6 children she already had and was living with her parents, getting public assistance. At least 2 of the 6 are handicapped which require even more parenting. Should a person on public assistance be allowed to create more life when she cannot take care of the lives she already has in her hands. Should people have children because of what the children give to them...or do you have children because of what you can give to the children and there by the world.

In my mind this is not about love for children, this is more about love of self. In vitro is expensive, if she really wanted children there are many out there who want a mother.

I think this event has prompted a cold hard look at a variety of subjects, public assistance, in vitro fertilization, parenting, love, power...now, with 8 tiny lives there will be no easy answer.

Cell Phones

Today I am having a long hard talk with my cell phone. I was forced...against my own will to get a new phone. My provider was bought out by another company. Since I had to get a new phone I decided I needed a red one...and one with a key pad, better to text my children with but I HATE that it is smarter than me and it sticking it's little cell phone tongue out at me!

I thought when I got it that I would be much more organized and so I programed my calender in so I could have a mobile secretary. Then I made a list of my most phoned number and assigned them a one digit dial. Next i programed different music for different callers so I would know who is calling by the music.

The result...I was awaken at midnight last night because my phone was letting me know that it was pay day. I accidentally dialed my son when I leaned against the desk and it hit one number. and all that music...I never know it is my phone ringing because it is a different song for every call.....Can't I just carry around an old rotary dial phone????

Is It A Brave New World????

I believe that it is, a brave new world...today, I have to bring courage with me to work because I basically just want to cry. 75 employees of St. Charles got their walking papers yesterday and 45 more had their hours reduced...which may just be a painful hemorrhage. I do not know the extent of the fall out, but a secretary that I have worked with for about 8 yrs was let go yesterday. It is hard to imagine what it would be like to be within 5 years of retirement and lose your job. Who is going to hire you at that age? Most of us need group health insurance because we have preexisting health issues and can't afford private insurance...and yet we are too young to qualify for Medicare.

I feel blessed to be in the profession I am in but it does not keep me from feeling the pain around me. So today, I drop my head and focus on bringing good energy to my co-workers.

Teacher, teacher...pick me, pick meeeee

I have loved teachers and hated teachers. I have had teachers who were kind and those that were cruel. Over the years I have taught a variety of subjects, guitar, soap making, peanut brittle making, needle point, how to deliver a baby, many computer programs and quilting to students around the world.

As a parent I have taught how to brush your teeth, how to clean your face, how to organize your toys (over and over again), best way to prepare for a test, how to make cookies, how to make hard boiled eggs...LOL...how to manage money, how to be kind...

there was only one thing that I was never able to master how to teach...teaching a teenage boy to drive!

What I have learned over my years of teaching is that if a student fails, most often it is the teachers problem. Sure the student has to have a willingness to learn and the drive to keep pushing...but a teacher has to figure out what motivates each student, as they are all entirely different. Kindness, grace and peacefulness are needed ingredients that will help a student learn. If you lose the student at the beginning because they feel "dumb" or "too old to learn" it will take longer for them to learn. But truly the number one trait of a great teacher is "Humility," it is that trait that reminds you of your own history and then you are able to give grace.

New Week, New Life

I like the idea of beginnings but if all you have is beginnings you start to feel like there is no end in sight. Today is Monday...we always look to Friday as a finish up day, so we can enjoy the weekend...but then Monday comes again. There has to be other ways to make a beginning feel better so the energy can sustain me through the end. Maybe I need to ignore the end, especially if it is something hard, nasty or difficult...but focused on the next beginning....boy this line of thought can make me wish I was in the middle.

It has always been important to stay focused on what will keep you safe, happy, comfortable and financially stable. But today it is even more important. The most vital ingredient to this entire mix is to not deviate from your moral code. It is easy when others have more...or seem to...to deviate from the plan to make yourself feel better in the moment...but moments are fleeting, and when you get to the end and you are not feeling content, safe or secure...it is usually because you succumbed to beginning and didn't pay attention to the end and most of all the middle was more about others than it was about yourself.

Grace

I had a wonderful weekend filled with grace. The only downside was that I did not get to blog yesterday...but boy was I having fun. It was the annual quilt weekend with the girlfriends on Quiet River. The weekend not only provides me an opportunity to finish projects, begin projects and quilt, quilt, quilt, but it teaches me so much.

I learned...

giving is better than receiving
friendships should transcend the need to have it our way
hearing is not as important as listening
change is happening
laughter can burn calories
chocolate is medicinal
having a flexible heart makes a friendship stronger
everything happens because of the economy
I'm not as tough as I think I am

and most important....

who Betty was and why you'd want to dye her....

The Shoe Cobbler Has Too Many Shoes!

I love the fact that the shoe cobbler has too much business! I have always cherished my best shoes, they are like an old friend. Comfortable, soft, supportive and reminds you of all the times you had together. So I am loath to give up a good pair of shoes...especially my Josef Stibel's.

In college you always had your Berk's resoled...heck they weren't worth anything until you had at least resoled them once! They really represented the miles you had traveled in them. So now we are seeing a resurgence of a old craft and people are taking a second look at whether they should donate their old shoes to Goodwill or have them resoled for themselves.

We are such a ADD society. Trends keep our interest only for a moment before the next best thing comes along. And waste....I am sooooo guilty of this...but a girl can be taught.

Remember the cobbler downtown...Greg on his daily walks passed his store front and was a customer. And so the cobbler is popular again but we ran him out of downtown with our high rent business that sell $600 purses...who buys those?????

Patient Zero

We have all heard about a medical "patient zero". When an epidemic occurs they can trace it back, if not to a specific person (Typhoid Mary) at the very least to a region (Bird Flu).

The "Patient Zero" for this economic disaster can be traced to a region. Stockton, Ca. 2003. What is shocking about this is how many people knew about patient zero but because of greed kept the ball rolling for as long as they could get their money. As Greg puts it...they ran ahead of the boulder knowing full well what was going to happen. And so patient zero was a sub prime loan given most likely by Countrywide Mortgage in Stockton, Ca. in 2003, where the highest volume of sub prime loan were issued. By 2006 patient zero's mortgage reset and the patient couldn't afford the payments, 3 months later he lost his job and the house went into foreclosure. All the value of all the houses on his block went down a fraction of a percent....then the next loan defaulted and the houses value fell a little more....well we are all feeling the affects of the fall out. By 2007 even individuals who do not follow the economic trends...knew something was up and by 2008 our bubble really burst....all because of greed and I mean greed on every level.

We were all living the high life, spending, vacationing, remodeling...on credit.

Well, we are now in Feb. 2009 and it is a cold shower wake up. Hopefully all of this will not be lost but the knowledge used to make better decisions about...how much does one person need.

Seizure

1. a sudden occurrence (or recurrence) of a disease; "he suffered an epileptic seizure"
2. the act of forcibly dispossessing an owner of property
3. the act of taking of a person by force
4. the taking possession of something by legal process

While the rest of the country seems to be in a state of seizure over possession and money our little Sam suffered another Grand Mal seizure. Having a wonderfully funny, active 2 year old have a seizure and knowing the pain and fear his parents, grandparents, great grandmother and all the rest of us in the family are feeling makes the monetary suffering of the world seem so minor.

I have always keep the words given to me by a friend, "if it is a problem that can be solved by money...it is not a problem." Truly, there are worse things in the world.

I Draw the Line!

Every time you go into Starbucks you see several specialty coffee makers....duh. If you go to any independent coffee house you see none. Obviously someone higher up in Starbucks hasn't a clue that people go to the coffee house so someone else will make the coffee. In my quest to try and spend local I have switched coffee places.

I totally understand the Latte factor of how much a person spends per month buying coffee out and because of this knowledge I only indulge occasionally. But, when I do, I want someone else to make the coffee. I do not want to learn how to make specialty coffees at home, nor do I want to buy an expensive coffee maker. I actually saw one demoed in Sur Le Table in Portland that cost $8000...you heard me....$8000, yes the coffee was exquisite but just not worth the $8000. I'd rather have a hot tub and have a barista make my coffee.

A great cup of coffee is meant to be enjoyed as an event, nice atmosphere, people talking, friends laughing...not at home. If you took the time to learn and spent the money on a great coffee maker then the coffee would lose it surprise. It would be so...every day. My favorite places are Simply Organic on Arizona St. and Back Porch on Newport...great coffee. With all the conversation going on around you...it makes you feel alive. Having coffee out is so much more than just the cup of coffee, it is an event.

That is why I draw the line...ordering a skinny almond latte...16 oz please...oh, with a cranberry biscotti...is up there with letting a professional cut your hair...I refuse to do that at home, no matter how broke I am!

Trailer Trash Philosopher

The definition of a philosopher is a person who offers views or theories on profound questions in ethics, metaphysics, logic, and other related fields. On the other hand I would classify myself as a trailer trash philosopher because I have lots of thoughts and profound questions about the world, sandwiched with a nice slice of judgement in the middle....and so comes the second edition of Annie's newspaper....

"Infertility May Be a Blessing"

Randal Ellis who is serving 3 years in prison for placing 185 bogus 911 calls and sending out the SWAT team to unsuspecting homes across the country. We hope he is sterile.

"Just Cause You Swim Fast...Don't Make You Smart"

Michael Phelps should call Bill Clinton, the "I didn't inhale worked once before." Of course, being photographed sucking on a bong is a tough sell...you could say you were blowing into it????

"Stay-cations"

The growing trend in this economy is to vacation at home. Problem is the mail keeps coming, the telemarketers keep calling and somebody has got to make the meals.

"The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian"

You must read Feb. 2Nd's editorial page...In My View...it could not have been said any better.

"Husband, Wife die together after 62 years of Marriage"

Robert Moser lived by a simple mantra, "Happy wife, happy life" and so when his wife passed away he told his family he was terminal also and passed away 6 hours later. The children had them buried the same way they lived...together in the same casket. Statistically there seems to be a phenomenon where couples who have been together a long time may opt to subconsciously hasten or postpone their own deaths. So, in another 30 years when Greg and I hit 62 years of marriage and should I kick the bucket, I want to be cremated and sprinkled a little in Monterey Bay and a little on the summit of Mt. Bachelor...because I am sure than Greg would not like to forever lie in a pink silk lined casket..even if, I was in it.

The Party's Over...

it's time to call it a day.They've burst your pretty balloon and taken the moon away....

Get together's are good for the heart. For a short span of time you leave behind the job worries, money worries, housework, the needs of the kids and you get to focus. Focus on a great time. You realize you are all basically in the same boat and you are surviving through laughter and a little tequila. History binds us, locking our arms together, so that we may continue and have another party. If you are really lucky, you will meet someone new....who's history recognizes your own and you feel comfortable.

What I learned last night...

Tequila seems to make everyone better looking and smarter
When you have small children, it's important to make time to let your hair down because someday they'll cause you to lose it....
Food catered by Tate and Tate is worth every cent
Unbirthdays are more fun because you don't have to carry a tune
I can bake
some people, who will go unnamed, can down a Baja Fog in one gulp
bean dip does not mix with books
Friends are so important to breathing

What I learned this morning...

you should always drink at least 1 glass of water between tequila tasting, otherwise you'll wake up with a dehydration headache.
getting up at 5:30 am to get the son up and heading back to Portland...well it's just painful
sending a son back to his place is...well it's just painful
the party gods say...always have the day after, off work

Questions I have about last night...

who wore the mask and who wore the boxers.....hummmm