Thinking of you...

Dear Dad,

It has been 33 years since we last saw each other but I've seen you since, in the souls of your grandsons, great grandsons, cousins and strangers. I remember stories you told of starting work at 11 years of age. The pain you felt trying to keep your family together. Family was everything to you and the definition was not exclusive to blood relatives. I am a better person for having been your daughter. There are times when I get fused about something and I think...what would my dad have done. Your heart was huge, it knew no stranger. Your physical life may have been short but your imprint on this life was huge. I learned to think outside the box by listening and watching you.

You'd be so proud of the family you have. Mom, in her 80's is a force to be reckoned with and has led a rich life filled with travel. She has met all the challenges put before her, being a widow at a young age. Your daughters are happy! and your son in laws are awesome. But, it is in your grandchildren and great grandchildren that the real miracle you help create occurs. What your daughters learned from you is passed to their children and your grandsons are amazing men. Each is an individual in their own right but, I see some of you in each of them...and your great grandchildren are amazing. They are 3 strong little men.

They say that one never truly dies who is remembered. You are remembered and talked about...and today I miss you.

Love, Anna

The Ugly Cry

As I watch the news I am struck not only of the devastation in Japan but, of the honor shown to each other. There is no looting, no pushing or shoving for goods. As people wait in the shelters, they take their shoes off. Yesterday someone told me that they were surprised at how composed people were...but, I know of the ugly cry. In the face of great stress the Asian culture maintains calmness but it does not mean there is not pain. Occasionally the camera will pan towards someone who is in the midst of the ugly cry.

The ugly cry is rare, especially in public. In my entire life I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen my mother cry...and, never the ugly cry. The cry that is from the gut...where your eye swell and your nose runs. Although I am a crier...I myself can only remember crying the ugly cry twice in my life. Once seeing my dad's body and once in response to parental guilt.

There is so much crying...so much of the ugly cry...it is from the gut...and I wish there was something I could do.

Who Has The Best Deal?

I was reading an article this weekend that was debunking myths and one of the myths that intrigued me was the one that said married men live longer than single men. Although this is in fact a truth, the other side of the coin is that married women do not live longer than divorced or widowed women. hummm

So a guy who is married live 10% longer than an unmarried guy but there is no discernible difference between a married woman and on who is not...hummm WHY?

I thought about the married guy, he has a wife who is thinking about his health, making his doctor and dentist appts. Mostly buying the food that comes in the house, not only is taking care of the running of the home but usually works outside the home. AND, does a majority of the household worrying. I listened to a friend of mine worrying about her husband's health yesterday, her kids, her life and I wondered...hummm no wonder the male life expectancy is higher married. The male brain processes information entirely differently and I think anything that started with a "W" as in a worry just passes on through. While in the female brain the "W" does a hard stop and hanging around a while.

hummmm.

My Favorite Ground Hog

Is it the one on the top or the one on the bottom? Of course it is the one on the top! He is my favorite groundhog! Happy Birthday! and guess what...Phil says there is going to be an early Spring! You are the best friend I could ever hope for and on top of that you a absolutely gorgeous, incredibly smart, can cook and make me laugh! I plan on celebrating many more Ground Hog Days with you!

What Do You See

A friend of mine was bemoaning the lines showing up on her face and the sagging of her jowls. Since we work in surgery and talk to surgeons on and off all day she stopped one of the "plastic" guys and asked them if there was something that could be done. He told her she was fine and to stop looking at her face with one of those 10x mirrors!

It is important to accept that we do age and that there is a different kind of beauty in aging. I think those mirrors are made to help us with our aging eye sight...not to view who we are. I feel powerful these days when I look in the mirror and this morning I was wondering why?

I realized that somewhere along the recent days and weeks...I started liking what I was seeing. I stopped highlighting my hair, and I like my hair with little sprinkles of gray. I stopped looking at my jowls and started seeing my cheeks. I stopped using harsh make up and began using something more natural...and now...

When I look in the mirror I see me...and for 57 yrs old...I am pretty darn cute.

Laugh Out Loud

Today is a busy one with a class in Sisters at the Stitchin Post...so I decided to post this funny email that Greg sent me because it made me laugh out loud...and laughing out loud is good not only for your soul but your body!


Year to date statistics regarding the new airport passenger screening procedures from the TSA Section of the Department of Homeland Security:

Terrorist Plots Discovered 0
Transvestites 133
Hernias 1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
Enlarged Prostates 8,249
Breast Implants 59,351
Natural Blondes 3

Yoga VS Vertigo

Now that I am a few days out from this I can chuckle...a little. This year as the beginning of each year I try to figure out what is going to work for me...keep me healthy and moving forward. Although I own the most beautiful yoga mat given to me by my sister who SWEARS yoga is going to save us all...I think it may not be for me.

It might have been the trip to the ER after yoga class. A room with the temp set a 85 degrees, filled with mostly die-hard yoga people except for in the back row where I was...and, holding poses for 3-5 minutes. Class is supposed to make you feel better, more limber and refreshed. Not me...by minute 50 I realized my balance was off...I made it gingerly out of the room but then had to sit because I was dizzy. Then I made the walk down the hallway for water...but that is as far as I got. So as people trickled out of the class I thought...what the hey...what is wrong with me that I can't handle a little yoga class! BUT, one of the things I gave up this year was back talking to myself. I no longer plan on feeling bad about things that I can't accomplish or successfully perform.

Since I had a hard time walking...I thought maybe I would head to the Immediate Care. They didn't want me...boo hoo...so across the parking lot to the ER I went...NO I was not driving, Robin was, while my friend Lori picked up Greg and my car...which last longer at Juniper than I did!

3 hours later, with a liter of fluid and a little Zofran I not longer felt like I was going to upchuck the last weeks meals and I could walk...kind like I had only one cocktail instead of 10. Now 2 days later my balance is back.

What did I learn...I can't hold my head below my waist for 3 mintues...my body can, but my head can't handle it. I am no less of who I am because I couldn't handle Yoga. Enzo is happy cause it is going to be more walking for us and I didn't miss the Golden Globes, I just got to watch them on a gurney.

I think I am going to have to get some tips from Emily's mom who teaches Yoga sometimes...to special people.

Oh my how fast a year passes. I had a "AH HA" moment when I was pulling out of my street and saw the crowded convention center. The Annual Wedding Fair. That's right, only a year ago I picked up my friend Colleen from the airport and we went directly to the fair. I was in high gear to gather the most information to help my then future daughter in law so she could have some choices. They lived out of town so it was up to me to get the facts.

Colleen and I sampled the cakes, appetizers, picked up brochures on photos, venues and even rode in a limo. WOW, it is hard to believe a year has passed! Those were exciting time, fun, crazy and the emails were flying

A Year...and in the end we now have a wonderful daughter in law and a beautiful grandson...life is good.

Meeting

I had to attend a meeting yesterday and while thinking about the outcome I ran across this poster which totally made me laugh out loud!!!!! Impress my colleagues...NOT. Feel important ...SO NOT. Give the appearce of progress, now we are talking. Meet other people...I'd rather do that over a nice cup of coffee...oh yeah that was a budget cut item.

Ah, the world is changing and I am trying to figure out how to make it change in a positive way, how much do I want to give. Because what I do know is if you fight for it to remain the same...you're history. It is going to change, whether you like it or not. AND, it is going to come at a price. So, how to I set the price I am willing to pay, what can I contribute that will make it not so painful? Because if I don't figure this out...it is going to be totally decided by someone higher up the food chain and this truth I know to be true...if, that happens I am NOT gonna like the price!

Retire Not

I woke up at 0315. I laid there for about 15 minutes trying to decide if I should fall back asleep until the alarm went off at 0400. In that 15 minutes I started thinking about the benefits of just quitting...or retiring!

1. I'd lose weight because I couldn't afford to buy food

2. I would never have indigestion because I could never go out to eat

3. I would become a tea drinker...cheaper than coffee

4. No happy hour, which I am not sure is a benefit

5. I'd never have to punch a clock for my measly 30 minute lunch

6. My house would be spotless because I couldn't afford any other entertainment but cleaning

the house.

7. My dog would be happy because our entertainment would be walking and throwing a ball.

The issues if I quit my job and retired would be that I would then become the full time employee of BSJ enterprises and I am sure...almost 100% sure she does not allow unionization. And I wouldn't get any breaks or lunch and I would have to become a lawyer.

So you know what...I love my job, I love my job, I love my job and off to work I go.